One way I’ve been staying warm this winter is by streaming Olivia Dean’s latest album, The Art of Loving, nonstop. Her lovely, soothing voice radiates warmth and the album expresses the sides of love that are often taken for granted or not looked deeper into. It’s now February, and the big V-Day is right around the corner. Right now, it feels like the perfect time to appreciate this collection of songs, especially the core messages. As I listen to this album more and more, I am reminded of the many ways we navigate love and how we should feel it. In other words, Valentine’s Day should be a time for everyone to appreciate the different aspects of love.
Love Surrounds Everything
When I listen to I’ve Seen It, I am reminded of the many expressions of love that are easily overlooked.
“The more you look, the more you find
It’s all around you all the time.”
Since I was a little girl, I have always loved Valentine’s Day. I never saw Valentine’s Day as a couples-only day. I grew up handing out cards and candies to my peers in classrooms. My mother would spend time with my sisters and me making crafty boxes to receive little treats. The first time I heard “Happy Valentine’s Day” was from my parents. I would receive custom goodie bags or my favorite meal from my parents every year. I would FaceTime my sisters and text my friends telling them how much I appreciate them. I would always take time for myself to get dolled up, dress on theme, and treat myself.
“I’ve seen it dance with friends around the table
In Eleanor, Rosie and Louise
And it makes me cry to think that I am able
To give it back the way it givеs to me.”
Every year, when Valentine’s Day rolls around, I will hear people talking down on the holiday. Most of the time, it’s from those who find dissatisfaction with being single. In all honesty, I have always found this energy quite annoying, even when I was single myself. Why miss an opportunity to be positive and joyful? Sometimes we get so clouded with the “situationships” and dating apps that we forget about the love around us.
Remember, ladies, a boy isn’t your whole world.
We can find joy and love in ourselves, friendships, and family as well. In my opinion, Galentine’s is an extension of Valentine’s Day, not separate. There is beauty in dining with your friends, playing games, dressing up and cracking jokes together. Friendships are just as worthy and important as romantic relationships, so spend time with friends or acknowledge the love they give you.
Fall In Love With Yourself
Songs of womanhood, transformation, and self-actualization are other examples that convey other types of love. Whenever I feel down, I replay the song Lady Lady in my head.
“That lady, lady, she’s the man
I think she got a master plan.”
One of the hardest types of love to find is self-love. I will admit there are some days I feel on top of the world, but other days I feel defeated. Our lives can be so busy and draining that sometimes it can be hard to give ourselves grace. We are always changing and transforming. We will always chase the “better” version for ourselves, but it is important to stand still and appreciate ourselves in the moment.
When I listen to Baby Steps and come across the bridge, I feel a spark of hope.
“I won’t fall back
If I fall forwards.”
I like to think of this bridge as an affirmation to stay positive. No matter how bad a day is, or how defeated I may feel, it is important to know that progress is still progress, even if it’s slow. When we feel down, we should remember that we are trying our best. Self-love is a hard thing to learn. Valentine’s Day could be a perfect opportunity to give ourselves the love we deserve. Start by having a slow morning, get fresh hair, take yourself out to eat your favorite meals, create art, do your favorite hobbies, or practice some self-care.
Self-love is a journey, but you can start by acknowledging your importance. Acknowledge that you bring value to a conversation. Know that you are worthy of happiness and a fulfilling life. Repeat affirmations to yourself. List big or small things you love about yourself and your capabilities. Set boundaries for yourself. Let go of perfection and start embracing your efforts.
To Love and To Be Loved
As we get older, our life has hiccups, and sometimes holidays can feel less festive. If you and your partner feel this way, it’s okay. Life can feel hard at times more off than others, or maybe a financial situation can get in the way of buying a gift. It’s important to remember that materialistic goods are not the definition of love.
“The way I do my hair, the way I make you laugh
The way we like to share, a walk in Central Park”
Love with another person is about the efforts, quality time, sacrifices, and emotional connections you share with your partner. This holiday is for spending valuable time with the person you love. Treat yourselves with a nice meal, get dressed to do a fun activity or stay home for a cozy night. Whatever it is, this day is meant to love your partner loudly, to do a new thing together, and to share more intimate conversations.
Valentine’s Day is a time to give and receive all types of love, not just one. Our first touch of love has always been from the people nearest to us growing up. Whether it’s from siblings, parents, teachers, pets, your partner, or friends, love is always surrounding us. Use this holiday to spread joy and love, not negativity.
Love’s never wasted, when it’s shared
Olivia Dean