Many say, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but really, it takes a village to raise adults. As I march toward my twenties, I have taken the past couple of weeks to really appreciate those who surround me at all times. The lovely ladies who have taken a spot closer to family than friends.
Growing Up
In college, a lot of us are leaving home for the first time, exploring the world on our own. With years cut down to semesters and people coming in and out, life has started to move pretty fast. Recently, I watched a documentary called “Paris Is Burning.” It is an amazing showing of queer culture in 80s New York. In it, they talk a lot about chosen family and what really makes a family. There is one quote that really resonated with me from Dorian Corey, A prominent drag queen from the ballroom scene.
“The hippies had families, and no one thought anything about it. It wasn’t a question of a man, a woman and children, which we grew up knowing as a family. It’s a question of a group of human beings in a mutual bond,” said Corey.
Kendall
This past weekend, I had the lovely opportunity to join my roommate Kendall’s family for Easter. I got to see a piece of her life that I never had. Her life before we met! I am so glad to meet the people who raised her and grew up with her.
Kendall is a very vital part of my village. She is an uplifting spirit who is always willing to help the people she cares about. Over the past few weeks, I have been violently ill. I had almost every symptom in the book: fever, body aches, sore throat, upset stomach, headache and congestion. I was stacked with illness. I got to the point one Saturday where I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I went to the emergency room.
I was really hoping not to go alone; it was a Saturday night, and my other roommates wanted to party. When I got the text telling me they wouldn’t, in fact, be meeting me there, I felt so alone. I was sick and by myself. I had spent the last few hours on the couch writhing in pain; I really thought someone would be there for me. I was so upset that for the first time in a week, I was crying about something other than how bad my body was hurting.
This was a pain in my heart.
While I was sitting there, I decided to throw a shot in the dark. I texted Kendall, “What are you doing?” She texted me back immediately, “I am going to Matthew’s. Do I need to come home?” I told her about my night, and within 20 minutes, she and Matthew were both sitting with me in the ER.
I don’t think she will ever understand how much that meant to me. She was immediately ready to drop everything for the night before I even explained what was going on.
To my friend Kendall, thank you for being there.
Hayden
My close yet very far friend Hayden embodies the spirit of a pep talk. Without a doubt, anytime I am feeling unsure of myself or my decisions, I know I can call or text him. I have never failed to get good advice from him. He has a way of existing that makes those around him strive to succeed.
One of my fondest memories was our 13-hour drive to Chicago. Our friend Hannah was asleep, sprawled across the backseat, good music playing, and a 13-hour conversation with one of my oldest friends. During this, Hayden told me the kindest thing anyone had ever said about me. “You exude passion.” He said.
I strive to be passionate about every endeavor I put my heart into. There is no point in doing anything half-heartedly. Hearing that from a close friend meant the world to me.
To my friend Hayden, thank you for the advice.
Family of Choice
In my family, most of us aren’t blood-related. It’s a mix of half-siblings, adopted siblings, chosen family, and grandpa-uncles. So, family has always meant something a little different to me. One of the people who has transcended the line of friendship into family is my best friend and roommate, Ryan.
I met Ryan when we were 11 years old, and now we are about to step into our twenties together. The day we met never ceases to amaze me. Ryan is known for being sorta quiet until you really get to know her, but this particular day, she was not. She took my own shoe off my foot and hit me with it while screaming at a pep rally in middle school. This matched my energy perfectly. I knew we had to be friends. I have never seen her act like that to a new person to this day. Nevertheless, I am glad she did that day.
Ryan introduced me to two of my other closest friends, her siblings, Izzy and Toby. I am so thankful for this family and all the love they have shown me. When I was an angsty teen fighting with my parents, I always had a bed to sleep on at the Harrahill-Hollis household. When I didn’t have a ticket to the football game that Friday night, Emily(their mom) would make sure I got one.
To the Harrahill-Hollis family, thank you for inviting me into your home.
Analisa
Whenever I first got to college, I was very worried that I would lose my ability to make friends. That somehow, the second I set foot in San Marcos, all social ability would leave my body.
My freshman year, I moved in early, so I was in this new place all by myself for a few days. Once people started moving in, I was so excited and ready to make friends. There was this girl named Analisa who moved in a few days after me, who was texting in a hall group chat about how much her roommate already hated her. The story made me chuckle and feel sorry for those not living with Ryan and me. I decided to text her that night to ask her to come over.
I have seen her almost every day since then. She quickly became an honorary roommate of Ryan and I’s dorm. She is now my roommate and one of my closest friends.
One of my favorite memories is driving 8 hours to visit her over spring break freshman year. We got to see her home and family. There’s something so special about seeing your college friend’s family home; it’s like unlocking the next level of friendship. We got to see all the places we would hear stories about, like her favorite Asian buffet, Great China Buffet in Weslaco, Texas.
To my friend Analisa, thank you for being my first friend in college.
Hannah
When I was in high school, I worked for this salad bar where I met some pretty interesting people. On my first day of work, I met another new-hire, Hannah. We had our own little work friend group: Hannah and I, who were the same age, and Rayna and Madeline, who were a year younger than us. While Madeline and I have since fallen out, and Rayna and I don’t talk as much anymore, Hannah and I stuck it out.
Since I met Hannah at a different time and place than my other friends, she has kind of always been in a bubble. I am able to tell her about things and get an outside perspective. One of her best qualities is being able to be straight-up with me. Whenever I am in the wrong, she does not hesitate to tell me. That is such an admirable trait. I feel comforted in the fact that she is comfortable telling me when I am being an ass; that is real friendship.
I love that with Hannah, there is no need for constant communication. We didn’t talk for like 8 months at one point. Not because we were in any type of feud, that’s just what happened. We live in different places, hang out with different people, and lead different lives. Still, we are able to come together, and it’s like no time has passed at all each time.
I dearly miss working with her and making everything a two-person job. I am so happy we both applied to the same job in our junior year of high school.
To my friend Hannah, thank you for being my packaged deal.
To All The Other Lovely Ladies In My Life
College comes with a lot of characters that will become dear to your heart. Whether that be the lovely ladies I met in my time in a sorority, or the wonderful ladies I see every Wednesday for Her Campus. I am so grateful for everything and everyone that Texas State has brought me, from my lovely girlfriend to my neighbor who joins us for dinner some nights.