My mom, Suzette Virrey, happens to be the strongest woman I know. She not only had me young, but tried her best to juggle college while being a teen parent. She is my utmost inspiration and I would not be where I am today without her.
I had a conversation with my mom recently. She told me that the reason that she is so supportive of me coming to a university hours away from home is because she didn’t get that opportunity herself. She tried going to community college, but unfortunately couldn’t finish entirely. Here are some questions I asked her, to shed light on mothers today navigating the same thing.
What did your everyday life look like?
“Your day has to be planned and strategized when you have a kid,” Suzette said. “I had to make sure you had your snacks packed or the day wasn’t great. In my case it wasn’t just school, I also had work. After work I would pick you up from daycare and make sure you were fed and ready to go to bed.”
My mom mentioned that her day started before I woke up and ended after I went to bed. I’m sure she was exhausted, but she pushed through.
What was your hardest obstacle?
“It was leaving you,” she said. “I was a single mom, so having to take on all the roles made it harder to just get to spend time with you.”
My mom took care of me on her own. I know there are days and moments she wished she could have stayed home, but that is what makes her so much stronger.
What inspired you to attempt college, knowing it wouldn’t be easy?
“It definitely wasn’t easy, but I was not only taking care of myself,” Suzette said. “I had another human being to provide for. No matter how hard the struggle got, I had to show you that you can’t give up.”
That will forever be something that sticks with me; she never did give up. My mom, to this day, does work her butt off so I can have more opportunities here in a university.
How did you balance school and motherhood?
“It’s hard to say that I was ‘balanced’ every day,” she said. “Some days are chaotic, some days are calm. The most I could do is just pray for the calmer days. You just have to keep your goal in mind. One day, I knew I was going to look back at the beautiful memories and see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
What did you major in, and did you feel you were provided support?
“I majored in business and marketing, but I also tried going back to study teaching,” Suzette said. “At some point, I would love to go back, but I feel like I am content with the money and passion with where I’m at right now.”
For those of you that don’t know, my mom is a hairstylist. She always had a love for hair, decided to renew her license a few years ago, and never looked back.
“I feel like I had more support as you got older,” she said. “I tried going back to college while you were in high school. You actually helped me with some of my homework, if you remember that. Overall though, I did have a good support system. I just wished I would’ve stayed in school.”
What advice would you give to mothers today going through the same thing?
“To not give up,” she said. “It is definitely easier said than done. There are moments you will have that will make you feel like you don’t want to keep going. It is a struggle, but you can do it. You will look back and realize you did it. Yes, we are mothers, but at the end of the day we are still human and need that sense of accomplishment. Those days are what will motivate you to help your child keep going in the future. To all moms: You got this!”
This is my mom. She is strong, brave, kind, and overall my hero. She never fails to support me in all that I do. This is not only me saying thank you to my mom, but to show all mothers who are going through this that it is possible. Even though my mom didn’t have the luxury to fully finish college, she will be cheering on everyone who decides to keep going. Make sure you give yourself an extra round of applause, because if it weren’t for the moms who keep going, I’m sure a lot of us wouldn’t be where we are today.