I can’t be the only one who has been completely obsessed with romance for a good portion of my life. So much so that I have had to almost recalibrate my brain to decenter it because I’d wonder, when is it my turn? Which is so out of character because I am heavily avoidant and am aware of it.
With social media, every aspect of couples’ relationships have been put on blast for the internet to see. I think the question that I have asked myself for a while is: if love is everywhere, why is romance so potent in today’s society that our other relationships often seem neglected and pushed aside?
Once my romantic escapades were over, I was so distraught because I thought everything was about romance. From the plots of my favorite shows to the music I listened to, I realized that everything that I did reminded me of that person. I wanted to know where the feel-good 90’s shows about genuine friendship went. What happened to spontaneous road trips and sleepover mani-pedis? It was all lost in the sauce of love and desire.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand yearning for the feeling of intimacy, especially in our society where it seems that everything that you do is public and open for others’ ridicule. You just want that one person to deeply understand you. Not only to understand you, but to love you despite your flaws. However, when will we realize that love is all around us? We just have yet to embrace it enough to feel truly fulfilled with love.
There is something that one of my favorite artists, Olivia Dean, said that really resonated with me, and I have not been able to let go of it ever since. She said, “maybe romantic love isn’t the forefront of your life right now, but love exists in so many forms. It’s in your friendships, it’s in strangers, it’s in your parents… I think that there is so much love to be shared and in the world right now. I think that we need reminding that it’s all around us and you just need to look for it.”
This struck me almost like some kind of movie scene. Every time she would give an example, it was like my brain flashed to the people that mattered most to me. There are so many people that I love and can credit for making me into the woman that I am today. This just made me realize that love is all around if you just stop for a second and think about everyone who loves you and everything that you do.
Countless nights with my friends when we were not doing anything in particular other than just talking. Their ability to understand me and love me even when I do something that isn’t worth mentioning is love. It doesn’t have to be romantic to matter, but so much of our lives seems to revolve around the search for romance that we forget that without the love of others, we wouldn’t be who we are.
I challenge you to stop one day and dwell on your non-romantic relationships. See just how much they mean to you. Tell your mom you love her, call up your friend from a few years back that you somehow lost contact with but you always find yourself thinking about. It’s never too late for love; love is never late either.