8th Edition
New Semester, Same Realness
Welcome back to Ask Her for the semester! We are excited to be back and to answer any questions you throw our way!
I am moving to New York this summer, so any advice on how to make friends in a new city?
Omg, living in New York would be such a dream! I spent the summer in D.C., so I’ll share a little from my experience. I spent the whole flight to D.C. scared that I would regret being so far from home for so long (No, I had never lived outside of Texas before, so it was extra scary). I ended up making two best friends that I still talk to every day. I did this by staying true to myself. Hear me out. If you act as your authentic self, people with similar vibes will be easier to find. I am a talkative and (usually) outgoing person. The way that I made friends this past summer was talking to everyone. I’m honestly scared about moving too, because post grad I am planning to move to California. (Catch me on Bumble BFF.) What I’ve always done is embrace doing things on my own, grocery shopping, going to restaurants, exploring the city, etc. Because there will be an uncomfortable transition period, but this never lasts long and soon the right people will come into your life.
Best – Cara Cervenka, Editor-in-Chief
What are some effective ways to become confident in the kitchen if you didn’t grow up with parents who supported you in learning how to cook?
It’s totally normal to not know how to cook coming to college! We both had to learn all on our own, and a lot of our credit goes to TikTok. TikTok has tutorials for EVERYTHING! On there, people will tell you what you need, what to make, how to make it and what to do! Seasoning really makes the difference; it makes the food delish, and it motivates you to actually eat it. Just lock in and start out easy and you will grow your skills in no time, make sure to do your research and don’t overcomplicate it for yourself. We wish you the best of luck on your cooking journey!
Love – Courtney Buck & Piscis Martinez, Editors
Best breakup advice? Moving on has been harder than I thought it would be…
It is totally normal to feel upset or hurt by a sudden breakup. Instead of thinking about something you lost, think about something you earned. This breakup gives you the chance to explore your freedom and independence! This is the perfect time to reflect on your relationship and figure out who you are. Breakups also take time to heal from. Don’t beat yourself up or dwell on the past while you recover. Spend time doing the things that make you happy, but this isn’t the end, this is the beginning of a new chapter for you!
With peace and love – Lily Mitash & Lilianna Rodriguez, HC Writers
How to make friends while not having change yourself
Hi Ash!
I get it, making and maintaining adult friendships is one of the hardest things no one tells you about. It’s easy to fall into trends and shallow friendships when you’re just seeking some kind of connection. While easier said than done, you have got to stay true to yourself. I promise, more people than you think will like you just the way that you are. I’m sure it sounds like a broken record at this point, but it’s solid advice – join clubs! Even if it’s just one meeting, even if it’s a shot in the dark, meeting like-minded people is an amazing first step towards making friends who won’t expect you to change. Good friends will change you – for the better. They’ll make you more confident, they’ll introduce you to new things, but at the end of the day they love you just as you are.
Good luck! – Leo Calderon, HC Writer
Why are friendships in threes never okay?
I totally get the anxiety that comes with new friendships—especially when you suddenly find yourself in a trio. Honestly, it can feel intimidating because the media always paints trios as messy, immature, or unbalanced. But here’s the thing: I actually believe trios are one of the best kinds of friendships. At the end of the day, every friendship whether it’s one-on-one or a trio, needs honesty, kindness, and real connection. The key is making sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who are truly worth it. Sure, trios can sometimes wobble if communication isn’t clear or if two people start leaving the third out. But let’s be real…that can happen in any friendship. Coming from someone who has been in a trio for seven years, my best advice is: always stay open to new connections, understand that friend dynamics are different (your relationship with one friend in the trio might not be the same as the other) know when to put yourself first, and don’t be afraid to talk through misunderstandings (because we all have them!). You deserve friendships full of love and support, whether it’s from one, two, or three people.
Xoxo – Elise Ramos, HC Writer
how do you know when you’re finally over a guy and not just gaslighting yourself?
Here’s the thing: you’ll know you’re over him when his name pops up in your brain and your reaction is basically “meh” instead of “ugh.” It’s not about never thinking about him again, it’s about the thoughts losing their sting. Just make sure to still let your anger, sadness, and any other emotions exist and feel them. Bottling emotions up only delays getting over someone. At the end of the day, you will just know when you’re over him. It may take quite a bit of time though and that’s okay!
With love – Zoie Tidmore, Editor, & Deseray Barraza, HC Writer