What do u think is the best way to determine who your real friends are? Are there any tips on maintaining long-distance friendships when You’re Extremely busy? – reica
Dear Reica,
We’ve all been there before, wondering whether or not our childhood friendships will last as we grow into adults as well as having to navigate the world of adult friendships. It’s hard!
Taking a step back to really look at your relationships and whether or not you’re happy in them is a great first step to determining your real friends. A genuine friend is someone you can rely on and don’t feel shamed by. That being said, effort goes both ways in a relationship. If you cannot hold yourself to these standards, how can you expect others to meet them?
Having long-distance friends is hell on Earth–that everyone experiences at one point or another. Yet, learning to overcome the struggle with one will make your life easier.
One of the first steps you should take when trying to have a long-distance friendship is reevaluating your expectations. You can’t call each other at the drop of a hat when you’re in different time zones. Try swapping y’all’s weekly schedule to find the perfect time to set a phone call. As well as prioritizing the quality of your time spent together over the quantity of it. You can see someone twice a week, every week, and know nothing about them, but long-distance friends must make the most of their twice-a-year hangouts. Try to send little text messages to remind them that they are on your mind. Once again, shared effort is the key to making this work. Like the saying goes, “The phone works both ways.”
Love,
Leo & Lilianna <3
How to make friends while not having to change yourself?
We think one of the most important things you should consider before even determining if friends are changing your relationship or initially wanting to begin a friendship, are the things you value most. It’s easy to go into a friendship blinded when you’re new to an environment and curious and hopeful. However, by not speaking up or feeling comfortable around people that are supposed to lift you up and bring you joy then you set yourself up for a detrimental friendship break in the future. We suggest finding yourself before finding your friends. When you know who you are, you’re less vulnerable to the influence of others. When people present ideas different from yours, that doesn’t mean your ideas aren’t worth mentioning. Real friendships form when you are your most authentic self, especially because you don’t have to uphold an image of someone you’re not. In order to find the people who will accept the real you, we recommend finding the environments of like-minded people. Join organizations and communities that share your interests, goals, and more. These will help you not only grow as an individual but also find true friends. We wish you the best of luck and always remember your worth!
Your girls,
Elise & Lily!
what do you do when you have a crush on your best friend but don’t Know if they feel the same way? like i can’t Stop thinking about them!
Dear T,
Let me tell you, I have been there, and it’s a tough place to be in. You have to make you the priority. Think to yourself, are you okay being just friends with this person, or can you only see being in a relationship with them? After that, you know if you need to put yourself out there. We’re sure that situations like this CAN WORK!!! But you need to be prepared for every response. Are you going to be able to continue the friendship on the off chance it’s it reciprocated? Try to pay attention to your friend’s body language and see if there are any signs of them feeling the same way. Whatever happens, respect their feelings and boundaries and ensure you respect yours as well.
You got this,
Deseray & Zoie!