We have some juicy questions this week!
“How to deal with getting ghosted?”
Getting ghosted can feel awful, but it’s important to remember that it’s more of a reflection of them than it is of you! There was nothing that you could’ve done differently to change the outcome, and it doesn’t mean anything negative about you, as long as you were moving with good intentions. The process can suck, but the person who is meant to stay in your life would.
-Caitlyn Rodriguez
“Were you instantly physically attracted to the people you’ve dated or did it grow over time? I’m talking to someone right now and we get along so well, but I can’t really tell if I’m physically attracted to them. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD BUT I’m scared if I end IT, I’m going to regret it.”
In all honesty, physical attraction isn’t the only essential factor when it comes to dating, but it is still important. If you are hesitant and feel the need to ask yourself if you are attracted, that is a sign that you probably aren’t physically attracted. Whether it’s at the beginning of the dating phase or later on in the relationship, physical attraction pulls us in further. In a blunter response, do you want a date you are attracted to or do you want to swallow the truth. In more serious relationships there are cases where a partner grows resentment or “the ick” much easier because of lack of physical interest. Final words, physical and sexual attraction are important, but so are other types of attractions.
-Cassandra Patlan
“my bestie did something ridiculous at a party, i got mean about it. now she’s taking the consequences of her actions out on me. i owned up for being mean, but im not sure what else i can do to help with the situation. she just keeps calling me selfish.”
I understand how friendships can become stressful after a hectic situation. In my experience, it’s best to give each other some space for a couple of days, then see if you guys can find time to talk about how you feel about what happened. Clear communication is always key, and it is best to talk things out with complete honesty. People tend to say hurtful things when they’re upset, and so it’s best to have that space to think clearly. I hope you can reconcile with her, and that your situation lightens up. Good luck!
-Courtney Nguyen
“My friend and I, who have been friends for about a year and a half, recently went through a friendship BREAKUP and went no contact for about a month. The basis of the fight was basically over her BREAKUP with her EX-BOYFRIEND. She just recently reached out and said how she never intended to defriend me but was just taking a step back. She wants to revive the friendship, and so do I, but only on the basis that she is no longer in contact with her ex. Is that too much of me to ask or is that a perfectly acceptable boundary to put up?”
I want to say I’m sorry you’re going through the loss of a friend in any capacity, but if you truly feel that who she is with her ex makes her a worse friend to you, wanting to set a boundary is understandable because “love” really can make people act in ways they may not have otherwise, whether it be for the better or worse. However, I’d hesitate to present her with an ultimatum of “it’s me or him” because at the end of the day, she’s a grown woman who makes her own decisions, and as long as you have conversations with her grounding her in the reasons why the breakup happened and supporting her through it as a friend, one can only hope she has the strength to not go back if that’s truly what she feels is best for her. And if she does, and you truly feel that you and her don’t align because of it, you also have the right to exit the friendship as a grown woman too. I don’t know the context as to why getting back together is so bad, but I wish you the best in exercising your discernment on the matter. I know you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. <3
-Daniela Urrutia
“How do you stay consistent at the gym I’ve been trying a lot lately but once I miss one day, then, I miss a whole week and I have to start all over again.”
Honestly, when I first started consistently going to the gym, I also felt this way. However, it’s important to remember that not going one day isn’t going to ruin your progress. To stay motivated, I like to view workouts not as a duty but as a hobby. On the treadmill, watch your TV show or read your chapters for class.
Consistently going to the gym doesn’t mean going every single day, it just means going a few times a week. I suggest setting a specific time to go and setting reminders on your phone. If you need to go a few days in a row to feel consistent then I suggest building a schedule. In my case I like to go five times a week but sometimes I’ll space them out when my schedule allows. It’s better to space out your days to ensure that you’re getting enough rest. Rest days are just as important as the workout.
-Fernanda Sauceda
“I want to enjoy doing yoga so bad but I find it boring, do you think I should keep trying or are there alternatives?”
I totally get how you feel. I’ve done yoga twice because I want to be a yoga girly, but it does tend to get boring. If you want something more upbeat, try Pilates or Zumba to get your body moving. I like doing them occasionally to music that gets me energized. If you still want to try yoga, listen to music while you do it to boost your mood. You could try it out at home with YouTube videos before taking actual classes. You don’t have to go all out for the Pilates and Zumba by doing hard modes at first. Ease yourself into it and find what you like best. I hope you have fun on this exercise journey!
-Taylor Carrasco
That’s all! See everyone next Sunday! Do you have any questions you need answering?
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