For our last Ask Her of the Spring semester, we have a longer edition of it this week and a lot of different questions to be answered!
“My grades are lacking; there is only a month of school left, though. How do I find motivation to get my grades up?”
I can majorly relate, and honestly, I’m sure so many of us can. Once it gets to the end of the school semester, it feels so much harder to do anything because, what’s the point, right? What helps me is finding different ways to go about getting things done, rather than forcing myself to do everything or getting to the point where I can’t do anything. My best technique is making a to-do list only of things that need to get done ASAP, rather than everything, then setting a timer for 25 minutes and just starting on whatever is first. Once the timer is over, you can take a break, but most of the time, at that point, you’ll be locked in and on a roll. Of course, everyone is different, but sometimes all you need is that little push. You can also do homework with friends or set rewards for getting certain tasks done. Getting started is often the hardest part, but I know you can do it! Best of luck!
-Amanda Fuentes
“Why has society deemed everything embarrassing? Why can’t we just all run free and love each other and everything in this world?”
Honestly, this is something I have had to work so hard to let go of. It’s easier said than done, but why not do all the things that make you happy? No matter how weird or large, it’s your life! Social media has this weird hold on perfectionism, that being cringe is outdated. You can run wildly free and full of love because the only perspective that matters is your own and those you care about. Embrace the cringe!! Embrace the embarrassing; life is too short to care about those things.
-Victoria Sanchez
“I have a nicotine addiction, and I want to stop, but I can’t, help please!”
Quitting anything can be very difficult, but with discipline, it is completely possible. I personally would recommend limiting your access to it. For example, you could do your best not to go to a place that sells them, letting your friends know that you’re trying to quit so they can hold you accountable, and staying far from people who you feel would try to peer-pressure you into nicotine use. You could also try to find other things to do, such as new hobbies, foods, or relaxation techniques. Always remember that any form of trying to quit is beneficial. Try to make it a habit not to resort to nicotine, and little by little, you’ll notice that you won’t even need it anymore. I wish you the best, and remember, having a good and strong support system behind you is the biggest help of all to make the process easier!
-Courtney Nguyen
“What do I do if I’ve outgrown a friendship but don’t want to be mean?”
This is one of the many things they do not tell you about adult friendships. As we get older, and especially while in our twenties, we start to grow at different paces. Some people are married with kids, others are still in school, and it becomes hard to relate to your peers. What I hate to say is that if there is a maturity gap in your friendship, the immature one will take anything you say as mean. I’m sure your friend notices the distance, too, but maybe is having a harder time grasping the “why” the way you have. My suggestion is to go into the conversation as kind, but as straight to the point as possible. A good starter is, “Hey, I’ve been feeling a lot of disconnect in our relationship. I feel like our lives just aren’t going at the same speed, and it’s putting a strain.” Utilize “I feel” statements and do whatever you can to avoid personal attacks – perceived or otherwise. Good luck!
-Leo Calderon
“How long is too long for a slow burn romance?”
I don’t think there is a universal “too long” for a slow-burning romance. It depends on whether the relationship is actually moving forward. Taking things slow can be healthy, but there should still be clear signs of interest and effort from both people. If months go by with no real progress or clarity about what you are, it can start to feel stuck rather than intentional. The key is whether you feel secure and valued, not confused or constantly questioning things. A slow pace should still feel like growth, not hesitation or avoidance. If you’re feeling more frustrated than excited, it might be time to have a conversation about where it’s going. Good luck!
-Zoie Tidmore
“Tips on wearing cuter clothes, or I guess just finding my personal style?”
Love to hear that you’re on the journey to finding your unique style. The great thing is that you already have it; we just have to pinpoint it. My favorite way to get inspiration is by exploring and experimenting. What have you noticed that has triggered this thought? Maybe an A-symmetrical top, a preppy outfit or some platform Doc Martens? By identifying what made you reflect on your own style, you find your influence. This can also be simulated on Pinterest as well. Make a board of outfits you like, color palettes or a certain aesthetic. In the same way you took inspiration before, make a list of some of the repeated items on your board to try on later. Now, the fun part: after compiling the building blocks of your style, it’s time to build. Try mismatching tops, trying things you’re unsure of, add lots of accessories, and when you like something, keep it! I always like to try to replicate inspo pics or create my own take on a trend. For example, see a necklace you like? Try to make your own! And last but not least, having a unique style is all about confidence. Being able to love what you’re wearing, inspire others and have the courage to take a risk is the greatest fashion choice of all.
-Elise Ramos
“I feel like I don’t fit in at my organization or just with my peers in general.”
Honestly, same. I feel like college is advertised as a place where everyone can find their people and instantly make friends, yet this isn’t always the case. As hard as it seems, you have to break the ice, and you have to try to talk to people. You may feel completely different than the people you meet, and that’s okay. You may find someone who you never imagined would be the most relatable. Eventually, you will find your place and feel less like an outsider.
-Kayleigh Miller
Thank you for reading along with us this semester. See you next time!
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