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TX State | Life > Experiences

Ask Her: Are Men The Problem?

Courtney Buck Student Contributor, Texas State University
Lilianna Rodriguez Student Contributor, Texas State University
Zoie Tidmore Student Contributor, Texas State University
Piscis Martinez Student Contributor, Texas State University
Cassandra Patlan-Treminio Student Contributor, Texas State University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TX State chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

ASK HER: 21st EDITION

This edition of Ask Her Advice is for all the girls who are worried about their friends who are in relationships. Like always, we’ve got you covered!

“What do you do when your friends always go back to frat guys, even after they’ve been hurt by them before?”

We all have had a friend who goes back to the same man over and over again. His being a frat guy doesn’t change much because, at the end of the day, he is still a man, but to be honest, there is a higher chance that he is just messing with your friend’s emotions because of the fact that he is a frat man. However, the blame isn’t all on him; she chooses to go back to him every time, even though he has hurt her.

If you want to discuss the situation, you can either wait for her to bring it up or pick a subtle and supportive way of talking about it. Don’t come in with fully loaded guns; instead, try to ask reflective questions like, “How did it make you feel last time?” Maybe framing a question in this way would actually make her think about this pattern she’s used to, instead of feeling attacked. Another question to help her ask herself: “What is she getting out of this?” “Is this more of a pleasure thing, or an emotional connection?”

At the end of the day, your friend is going to do whatever makes her happy in the moment, even if it gets messy later. Just offer her your support, be the shoulder she cries on, and try to understand her perspective! Best wishes to your friend, it is only a phase that will end!

-Lilianna Rodriguez, HC Contributor

“My best friend’s boyfriend has been going though her phone. she knows because he forgot to erase her search history, BUT he doesn’t know that she knows. What should she do?”

Personally, I think she should just talk to him, even though that can be uncomfortable. It makes sense to feel uneasy about anyone going through your phone, let alone your partner, because privacy and trust are important in any relationship. She doesn’t need to accuse him right away, but she could calmly bring the situation up by saying something like, “I noticed some things in my search history and wanted to ask if you used my phone.” This opens the door for a respectful conversation and gives him the chance to be honest. How he responds can tell her a lot about whether he respects her boundaries. Ultimately, she deserves to feel secure and trusted in her relationship.

-Zoie Tidmore, HC Editor

“I’m struggling to see my friend’s perspective and I feel like she drops me at any opportunity when her ex-boyfriend reaches out to her. I feel like whatever advice I give her just goes ignored. I have a feeling she doesn’t enjoy the situation, but she also doesn’t want help because it’s all she knows. What do I do?”

These types of situations seem to be common amongst us girls. It’s normal to be protective of our friends, especially when they get mistreated, because we only want the best for our friends. You deserve friendships where you get effort reciprocated.

Sometimes we forget that letting go or pulling back doesn’t mean you don’t care; it just means you’re choosing your peace. You can still love someone from a distance without putting yourself in situations that make you feel small or second place. Your friend might not be ready to see what you see, and that’s something you just can’t force. But you can protect your energy, set boundaries, and surround yourself with people who show up for you the same way you show up for them. 

Ultimately, friendships should add to your life, not drain it. If someone’s choices constantly leave you hurt or confused, stepping back might be the healthiest thing you can do, for both parties involved. And when she’s ready, you can still be there for her, as she will turn to you for help if she ends the cycle.

-Piscis Martinez, Editor-In-Chief, & Cassandra Patlan, HC Contributor

Courtney Buck

TX State '27

Courtney Buck is the section editor at the Her Campus at Texas State chapter. She oversees the section’s direction, assigns ideas to writers, and ensures every piece offers responsible, supportive guidance to readers. She writes biweekly articles for Her Campus, collaborating closely with her team to develop ideas, conducting thorough research, and self‑editing her work to ensure clarity and quality. She enjoys writing original content, specifically personal essays and relatable pieces that reflect real student experiences to her own.

Outside of Her Campus, Courtney is a Mass Communication major at Texas State University with a minor in Psychology. She previously reported for KTSW 89.9 as a News and Culture Reporter and has completed a short internship with Swoon Memorial in Houston the past summer.

She enjoys doing her nails and journaling about her feelings as it makes her feel more grounded in her everyday life. She loves staying busy and productive so if her schedule is free, you can find her at the gym. She has big dreams and aspirations for her life, so although she doesn’t know exactly where she’s headed yet, she will be somewhere in the future!
Lilianna Rodriguez

TX State '27

Lilianna Rodriguez is a junior at Texas State University. Her major is Journalism, and her minor is film studies. In Lilianna's free time, she can be seen reading or hanging out with friends.
- XOXO from Lilianna!
Zoie Tidmore

TX State '27

Zoie Tidmore is a Senior Editor and Writer for the Texas State University chapter of Her Campus, where she plays a key role in leading the editorial team and upholding Her Campus Media’s publishing standards. In her position, Zoie oversees a team of eight writers, guiding them through the writing and editing process to ensure clarity, consistency, and authenticity across all published content. She supports writers in developing strong pitches, refining drafts, and maintaining the chapter’s voice, while also contributing her own work to the site. Zoie is particularly interested in covering politics, media, and culture, with a focus on how these areas impact college students and younger audiences.

Outside of Her Campus, Zoie is a Journalism major at Texas State University with minors in Media Studies and Political Science. She previously worked as a writer for The University Star, where she learned how to cover stories relevant to the campus and local community. Zoie joined Her Campus in Spring 2025 as a writer and has since grown into her role as Senior Editor, gaining more experience in editing, mentoring writers, and contributing to the chapter’s editorial leadership.

When she’s not working on her degree or editing articles, Zoie enjoys reading romance novels, listening to music, and spending time with friends and family. She is an aspiring journalist who hopes to educate and inform others about issues shaping the future of the world, using storytelling as a way to create understanding and spark meaningful conversations.
Piscis Martinez

TX State '27

Piscis Martinez is the Editor-in-Chief of Her Campus at Texas State University, where she leads the chapter’s editorial vision, oversees writers and editors, and manages weekly publishing in alignment with national Her Campus Media standards. She is especially passionate about personal essays, advice columns, and lifestyle content that center authenticity, vulnerability, and campus culture. In her role, Piscis focuses on building clear systems, strengthening editing workflows, and fostering a supportive environment where writers feel confident developing their voices.

Beyond Her Campus, Piscis is a Public Relations major at Texas State University with double minors in Human Resources and Communication Studies. She also works as a peer consultant at the University Writing Center, where she supports students one-on-one in improving clarity, structure, and confidence in their writing across disciplines. Since joining Her Campus in Fall 2024, Piscis has grown within the organization as a writer, Section Editor, Senior Editor, and now Editor-in-Chief, gaining hands-on experience in editorial leadership and team development at every level.

Outside of work and class, Piscis enjoys drinking coffee, watching reality TV, and finding comfort in the small routines that keep her grounded during busy semesters. Whether she is editing an article late at night or brainstorming new ideas with her team, she is always excited to help Her Campus writers grow, feel supported, and take pride in their work.
Cassandra Patlan-Treminio

TX State '26

Cassandra Patlan-Treminio is a writer for Her Campus for the Texas State University Chapter. She contributes to biweekly postings of personal essays, lifestyle advice, and pop culture conversation. In addition she offers personal advice for the chapter’s original female centered guidance column, Ask Her. Her writing centers around female self care, pop culture predictions, niche hobbies, and even thought provoking dilemmas.

Aside from writing for Her Campus, Cassandra is a senior Theatre Performance & Production major with a minor in Mass Communications. She also works for the University’s Advising Center to guide pre-business majors and first year college students on building schedules for future semesters. Additionally, she supports advisors by booking timely meetings for students on weekly calendars.

At home, Cassandra loves to spend time with her cat, Pixie. She also loves to oil paint, read, strength train, binge watch nostalgic TV shows, and journal. As a massive fan of figure skating, she also dedicates time on the weekend for skating classes.