13TH EDITION
We have a wide variety of questions this week, from toxic friendships to mending old ones, as well as some relationship advice, per usual. If you have any questions, you need answered, ASK HER in this Google Form!
“My question is what do I do if I miss my ex best friend, but I feel as if I can’t reach out? We were friends all throughout high school and I feel like we both messed up. Is it okay to reach out and apologize after not speaking for three years or should I just move on?”
Friendship breakups, especially when you are young are always rough and sometimes things can be left unclear. Both parties involved could have moved past, but it is also a possibility that some flames can reignite again. It is not wrong to have moved on and go about your life but that lingering question can still haunt you. Think about how different you and that person are today. If you take the opportunity to reach out, apologies can go a long way if you believe that is the appropriate way to handle the situation. Be open to the possibility that the other person may not be interested to reunite. In the end it’s important to remember that your heart is in the right place and longing is a normal part of letting someone go. If someone doesn’t come back into your life, everything happens for a reason, it’s just meant to be.
-Courtney Buck, Editor, & Cassandra Patlan, HC Writer
“My boyfriend has liked pics on insta of other girls, like bikini posts. I called him out for it, and explained how much it hurts. He apologized and says he’s sorry and is telling me that he only wants to be with me. Is this enough to break up? Should I have some space, move on, and stay.”
You don’t want to make any heat of the moment decisions. We don’t think you need to immediately break up, how you go forward from this depends on how your boyfriend handles the situation. If his apology is genuine and he stops liking pictures that make you uncomfortable, then that’s good, he is listening to your boundaries, and he is showing that he respects how you feel. On the other hand, if he continues to like pictures you are uncomfortable with then that is an issue. If he doesn’t end up listening to you then it might be for the best to consider your options and make your decision on what you want to do. You are strong and beautiful!
-Cara Cervenka, Editor-In-Chief, & Zoie Tidmore, Editor
“How do I get out of a toxic friendship?”
Toxic friendships can be really hard to come back from, especially when you feel like you’ve put in a lot of effort to keep the relationship together. At some point, you have to decide what kind of people you want to surround yourself with, and if they don’t fit that vision, it’s okay to let go. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, it can simply mean creating some distance, like hanging out or texting less. It can be so easy to just ghost them and leave without saying why, however, communicating your feelings might be better for everyone involved in the long run.
If you’d rather send a text to communicate your feelings directly, it could look something like this:
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I feel like I need to take a step back from our friendship for a while. I really value the time we’ve spent together, but I’ve realized that some parts of our dynamic haven’t been the healthiest for me. I’m trying to focus more on my own growth and peace right now, and I think having some space would be best. I truly wish you the best with everything — I just need to do what feels right for me right now.”
Good luck, knowing when to leave a friendship is always the hardest part.
-Lily Mitash & Elise Ramos, HC Writers
“How to navigate having your first boyfriend?”
Navigating your first boyfriend can be a fun yet stressful time. Everyone has different experiences, which is the beauty of it all. Make sure not to stress yourself out trying to make everything perfect, no matter what anyone tells you, it is healthy to not always have the “perfect relationship.” The main advice I can give you is to just have fun. This is your FIRST boyfriend, don’t pressure it to be your entire world. Go on cute dates, communicate with your person, laugh, play, and most importantly, build trust in it. Relationships are never going to be easy, so just make the most of this season you’re in, especially with the holidays coming up, you’ll see they get better when you have someone to spend them with. So happy for you girly!!
-Deseray Barraza, HC Writer