I was never the sorority type. I grew up with the fashion sense of a misguided lawn ornament, a tenuous combination of awkwardness and chattiness, and the overwhelming sense that I was not a cool person. There was a fine line between the haves and have-nots at my high school, and you can probably guess which side I lived on.
So you can imagine the surprise of my friends and family when a desire for more friends and overwhelming fomo led me to rush. Hearing “I really don’t see you in a sorority” gets old fast.
But just as I was reconsidering my decision, sorority recruitment had arrived and it was too late to turn back. And since I, as a person who is distinctly not cool, had no idea what to expect, I feel a responsibility to pass on my experiences and a little bit of advice.
You will get cut from houses. Probably ones that you like. Probably ones that you had an amazing conversation with, or maybe that told you how much they liked you. It might be upsetting or confusing, and it might make you question everything about who you are, but the most important thing I gathered from getting cut was this: people don’t know who you are from a ten minute conversation. They don’t know your quirks and passions from asking about your major. They don’t know your weird Boot horror story from knowing your hometown. They don’t know if you’ll be best friends from hearing how your first semester went. So while getting cut from a sorority may feel like a judgement of your personality, remember that a second of small talk is not and will never be who you are.
You might feel self-conscious. There were dozens of times when I was waiting in line to get into a house and schmooze and I looked around at the other Potential New Members. I remember thinking how clear their skin was, how good their makeup looked, how put-together their outfits were. I remember thinking they looked like they had always fit in. Like it was effortless for them. And naturally, as humans tend to do, I turned that back on myself. I was breaking out, my makeup was half-faded at that point, my outfit wasn’t NYFW material. It is often so easy to see others’ accomplishments as our detriments, and recruitment is a time when that is turned up to the max. So keep in mind that while all of the girls in line around you have value, so do you. The fact that they look beautiful doesn’t make you any less so, and looking gorgeous is far less important than having a good connection.
You will end up exactly where you’re supposed to. Maybe that’s not in a sorority, or maybe it’s the one you never even considered at the beginning of the week. Throughout the recruitment process, several active members told me that you want to end up in a sorority in which you could fall flat on your face and not be embarrassed. At the time, I thought it was just something they were saying to make me feel less bad about being cut, but by the end of the week, I understood exactly what it meant. At the sorority I got my bid from, I never worried that I was breaking out, or if my makeup looked bad, or if they were judging my outfit. I was thinking about how cool the girls I was talking to were, and how exciting it would be to hang out with them. I could absolutely fall flat on my face at my house, and be confident that they would help me up as they laughed along with me.
In the end, I discovered that all you really need is a group of girls you can be genuine with. My sorority is filled with girls who aren’t the “sorority type” because in reality, there is no sorority type. I’m the last person who anyone expected to rush, and now I’m throwing up my hand symbols and referring to people as my sisters an obnoxious amount. Even if you don’t see yourself in a sorority, I highly recommend taking the risk. Learning about yourself and ending up exactly where you belong is absolutely worth the minor psychological torment.