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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Unpopular Opinion: Stop Hating on Arie Luyendyk Jr.

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Tulane chapter.

       I personally have always had a love-hate relationship with “The Bachelor.” The concept of 25 women fighting for one man for a proposal after only 2 months is dumb and impractical, not to mention that the majority of the couples break up. Yet each season I find myself impatiently waiting for the next episode to air. I’m not alone in my confusion. In fact, several articles have been written to suggest why smart, self-identifying-feminist women find themselves wrapped in a series that actively normalizes heterosexuality and gender roles. That being said, it appears that things are changing. In the past couple seasons of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” the group of contestants have been more diverse and educated than ever before. There also has been less drama between contestants and a much stronger “sisterhood” esc vibe. One thing that isn’t changing for the better? The fact that viewers love to hate on the bachelor. 

       I’ve noticed that people have been particularly quick to hate on Arie this season. All season he’s been called boring and dumb. The last straw for many viewers was the finale of the season. Just a month and a half after proposing to Becca Kufrin., Arie broke up with her to pursue the shows runner up, Lauren Burnham. The seemingly unemotional breakup caused an uproar from many viewers, prompting multiple billboards to be put up with words of encouragement for Becca. Bachelor fans across the nation are taking to social media to defend Becca and consequently, for the lack of a better word, shit on Arie. Though the hate isn’t new, it definitely is a step up from previous critiques. Many are calling him a liar, a cheater, an asshole, and saying that his future relationship is doomed. 

     Yes, Arie’s move may not have been the most chivalrous, but we have to remember the situation he was in. After roughly 2 months to 3 months and only a handful of dates, Arie was expected to get down on one knee and propose to a woman he barely knew. He cited this as being one of the reasons he proposed to Becca, despite being unsure if that was what he really wanted. It makes sense that people are mad, Arie kind of set himself up for people to be angry, but we have to remember that he’s just a normal guy. It’s easy for us as viewers to fall into the trap of idolizing the people we see on the screen, and even easier to tell them via social media that they suck when they do something we don’t approve up. It’s important to recognize the impact that receiving thousands of hate-filled messages can have on a person; it’s easy to think that one tweet won’t impact someone, but they add up fast. 

     I’m not saying I approve of how Arie chose to televise the break up, and later chose to propose to Lauren essentially in front of Becca, but I definitely don’t approve of the hate he’s getting. If you don’t like what he did your opinon is valid, but that doesn’t mean you should tell Arie that he’s the worst bachelor ever.