It’s been more than a year. That sense of loss you felt on September 29, 2013 hasn’t quite disappeared. You still make references to it in every situation, whether they are applicable or not. These signs can only point to one thing; you miss Breaking Bad. You may have thought you had everything there was to ever have concerning this wonderful show, but sadly I’m here to tell you that you don’t. Below lies merchandise that never quite made/left the shelves of an international toy store (shoutout to Toys”R”Us for putting this show back in the spotlight), but is still very much crucial for you die-hard fans out there.
1. You have someone over to your house/room for the first time. Quick! What’s the first thing they notice? Is it your underwear hastily hidden behind a pair of shoes? What about that tower of trash rising from your wastebasket? Or is it the crusty bowl sitting on your desk, reminiscent of last night’s stress eating?
None of the above. Their eyes will be immediately drawn to this poster, adequately named “Never Give Up on Family,” where Walter White is seen protectively clutching his baby daughter, Holly. The warm glow reflected off this pair of bald heads will mesmerize any individual walking into the room, and put them back to the comforting days of when Walter kidnapped his daughter and subsequently left her at a fire station.
2. They’ve cooked (meth) together. They’ve fought (drug lords) together. And they’ve killed (plenty of people) together. If that doesn’t signify the true meaning of friendship, then maybe we all need to rethink our definition of the word BFF.
Walter White may not be the best of friends (so maybe he’s actually a pretty terrible friend), but hey. You have to admit that him and Jesse did make quite the pair. Give this necklace to your best friend/significant other to let them know that y’alls relationship is equal parts vital and detrimental.
3. Of course you want candy that resembles a hard drug with the childish color of a robin’s egg crayon. Parents just love that. “Just be happy that it’s not actually meth, okay Mom? GOSH.”
Take out this bag when you want to rewatch the series for the fifth time, and munch away as you mentally tell Jesse that he can quit doing drugs if he just believes in himself.
4. Are you cool? Probably not as cool as the person sporting these beauties around campus.
One look at these shoes, and everyone will know that you are not one to be messed with. With Heisenberg’s glare on your heel, people outside of Stern won’t dare shove flyers in your face on your way to class. After all, you are the one who walks (I had to, I apologize). #sorrynotsorry
5. Jesse Pinkman wished he had this to hold all his fat stacks. Or maybe he would gift this gem to Skinny Pete and Badger.
Either way, you’ll definitely feel a little more Pinkman-esque carrying your money around in this. Just be sure not to shout out his catchphrase everywhere; you probably won’t get the best looks from people.
Here’s to hoping that you still have some fat stacks after making all of the above purchases!