College can be stressful in terms of balancing your life. Friends, studying, clubs, sports, sleep– sometimes it seems impossible to get it all done. Adding a romantic relationship to the mix can make the balancing act even more difficult. Many college students these days are in long-distance relationships. Not being able to see the person that you love every day and sometimes for extended periods of time can be stressful. Other times, though, it can be super exciting to have your own experience and plan little getaways to visit your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you’ve just come to college and are struggling with a long-distance relationship, or if this is your fourth time around the block, we’ve included some tips below that will help make the distance feel smaller, the time apart more manageable, and keep you both close at heart.
1. Communicate, communicate, communicate
The most important part of being in a long-distance relationship is being open and honest with your partner and telling him/her how you feel. It is never a good idea to bottle up emotions– at one point, you’re just going to crack and your feelings will explode. If something is bothering you, make sure to speak-up. Talk with your boyfriend/girlfriend about the best ways to communicate with one another. FaceTime, Phone Calls, Texting, Skype—whatever works best for you! At the same time, make sure you are not over-communicating. You don’t want to find yourself buried in your phone always worrying about what the other person is doing. You need to live in the moment and enjoy your college experience! Figure out how to strike a good balance. Maybe a few texts throughout the day and a phone call before bed time will help you feel happy and secure in your relationship.
2. Plan Visits
Planning a visit to see your boyfriend/girlfriend is a great idea to help with the long-distance. Having something to look forward to can be fun and exciting and can give you a goal to work towards. It also breaks the time apart into smaller chunks, so it does not seem as daunting. Rather than thinking about the full eight-months that you will be apart, maybe you can just focus on the next three weeks. Plan exciting little adventures together. It will be fun to be able to show your boyfriend/girlfriend around your (new) home! Make sure that the visiting schedule is fair. You don’t always want to be the one going to visit him/her—he/she should also visit you!
3. Lean on Your Friends
A great way to help deal with long-distance relationship-struggles is by talking to your friends. A lot of the time, your friends will be going through the same experience. It’s not easy being away from the person that you love, so they will totally understand! You can vent to them and plan little outings together to enjoy the time with your friends while you’re away from your boyfriend/girlfriend. You also want to make sure that you take advantage of the time that you have with your friends. You don’t want to get caught up in only worrying about your significant other all of the time, and let the fun times with your friends pass you by.
4. See it as an opportunity!
When you’re off at college and away from your boyfriend/girlfriend, see this as an opportunity to grow and to try new things. He/she will still be there for you and will probably be off doing his/her own thing—which is great! It’s a wonderful opportunity to work on bettering yourself and growing as a person, so that you can be a better you, which will make you a better partner, too.
5. Avoid Uncomfortable Situations
Often with college, comes partying. These can be some of the most difficult times for students in a long-distance relationship. Seeing, or hearing about your boyfriend/girlfriend in crazier situations full of other young men and women can be unsettling. It’s not that you do not trust him/her necessarily, you just wish you could be there to experience everything with them. These thoughts and feelings can result in jealousy. Don’t let jealousy impact the way that you act toward your boyfriend/girlfriend. Talk about situations ahead of time that might make you uncomfortable and how best to handle them. It’s often helpful to be open and tell him/her where you are going and who you will be with. Checking in throughout the night and finally at the end of the night before bed to make sure he/she is safe and sound can also help to ease any anxiety that you might have. If there is something that you know makes your partner uncomfortable, work with him/her to figure out how to best be there and to understand his/her feelings.
Long-distance can be hard at times, but it’s also fun and exciting. Don’t lose sight of the love that you share. Hold on to the memories that you’ve experienced together and look forward to the new ones to come! Enjoy your time studying, with your friends, and being independent. Makes sure you’re responsible and try to be as understanding and open with your boyfriend/girlfriend. College flies by, so don’t let the fun times pass you by. You’ll be reunited soon! Don’t worry ladies, you got this!