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One Collegiette’s Halloweekend Play-by-Play

7:30 PM – Inhaling a well-balanced meal at Dewick, consisting of overcooked pasta, two pieces of pizza, and a bowl of froyo. Clearly carbo-loading in preparation of tonight.

8:12 – In realization that I have no costume for Halloween, I start searching for ideas on Pinterest. Ruled out the Playboy bunny, the Risky Business look and the zombie.

8:57 – List of potential costumes complete: 80s workout chick, hippie, or a soccer player.

9:00 – My leotard definitely does not fit like it used to in middle school.

9:02 – Momentarily distracted by my ex boyfriend’s new profile picture on Facebook… And then rapidly clear the history on my Safari browser.

9:03 – Text my neighbor, a baseball player, asking if he has soccer jerseys.

9:16 – Currently dressed in knee socks and a jersey that completely covers my spandex. Not visibly wearing pants is cute, right?

9:42 – 7 layers of cover-up, 4 shades of eye shadow and 2 coats of mascara later, I’m going to make myself a drink.

9:56 – There are 20 people in my room. I recognize three of them.

10:03 – Starting to feel giddy.

10:11 – Now received my fourth group chat asking what’s going on tonight. I still have no idea.

10:32 – Heading to the party. I think it’s raining but to be honest, I’m not even the slightest bit cold.

10:36 – Starting to feel a little giddier than giddy.

10:40 – I’m standing outside some house in a crowd full of people. The girl next to me is also dressed as a soccer player… awkward.

10:52 – At the front of the line. I’ve resorted to flirting with the guy at the door to get in, mostly because the rain is turning my recently straightened hair curly.

10:53 – I’m in.

10:55 – Making moves to the hydration station. As I walked down the steps to the basement, I’m smacked in the face with a wave of damp air and the stench of B.O.

10:57 – I run into my TA and criticize his costume (or lack thereof) not considering the influence he has on my grade for the class… Oops.

10:58 – Headed to the dance floor.

11:23 – I’m pretty much grinding up against everyone. Mainly because there is no room to move, but also because it’s Halloween and I’m OK with pretending that I’m dressed as Miley Cyrus in a soccer jersey.

11:27 – Far surpassed giddy, veering straight towards feeling good.

11:36 – Drenched in sweat. Like fresh out of the shower wet. Naturally, I take a selfie to judge how horrendous the make-up situation is. Funny cause my hair was straight at some point tonight… Biggest regret of the night.

11:44 – I realize that I’m down a friend. I think she’s hooking up with that weird kid from the second floor of my dorm? 

11:58 – I make my way up to the first floor for some “clean” air.

12:03 AM – The no longer absent light is making me take notice of how odd some of these costumes are… No, morph suits are not acceptable forms of clothing..

12:08 – To pee or not to pee, that is the question. I choose the latter and refuse to spare my bladder.  

12:09 – Send a mass snap chat of myself with glazed eyes and a very vacant expression.

12:12 – Heading back into the steam pit (AKA the basement).

12:15 – …And going straight for the hydration station.

12:16 – I run into the kid who sits next to me in English. Pretty sure he doesn’t recognize me. I blame the dripping mascara and lack of visible pants.

12:32 – Group chat number three texts me to ask if the party I’m ask is fun. I manage to respond with a whole word: “yes.”

12:33 – Some jerk in a morph suit bumps into me, sending a large splash of my drink onto my cell phone. For sure the water indicator inside my phone has now passed the pink color and is officially a shade of light brown.

12:37 – I’ve accepted that my friend is MIA. Thankfully my other friend is dressed as an inmate from Orange is the New Black and isn’t particularly hard to find amongst the crowd.

12:42 – My dance moves are becoming increasingly questionable. Something between Gangnam Style and the Harlem Shake…

12:53 – I’m starting to realize I have plenty of room to dance… Which is a really bad sign.

12:55 – I’m walking back to my dorm.

1:01 – I am laying on the floor of my no longer missing friend’s room. We decide to make EasyMac.

1:06 – Pretty sure I’ve burned all the skin off the roof of my mouth. I browse through my pictures from the night and recall my heinous selfie. Delete immediately.

1:08 – We return to my friend’s room to find my baseball-playing neighbor passed out on her floor.

1:10 – We decide to take pictures with our sleeping beauty to memorialize the moment.

1:11 – I mass snapchat the picture to every person on my contact list, including my ex-boyfriend.

1:17 – I briefly remember how badly I needed to pee earlier, and finally relieve my bladder.

1:21 – My soccer jersey smells like wet dog, the mud on my converse has dried and my eyelids are slowly getting heavier and heavier.

1:23 – I make my way back to my room.

1:24 – I strip out of my costume, throw on a sweatshirt and sweatpants and spray the pile of clothes with a dash of Febreeze. Now it smells like a beach in my room.

1:25 – Staring in my mirror, I question if I’m going to take my make-up off. Decide otherwise, put up the hood of my sweatshirt and crawl into bed.

1:31 – I finished my third bottle of water in the last 30 minutes and for some reason, Ke$ha’s voice is echoing through my thoughts.

1:33 – I resort to falling asleep to an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Which I will most likely have to start watching from the beginning tomorrow.

4:00 PM– I am praying in my sleep that I can wake up tomorrow morning without too bad of a head ache…

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