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The Stages of Going Out in the Winter

It’s a Saturday night, the wind chill is high, and your fracket seems like it won’t be cutting it for warmth tonight (does it ever?) – in fact, your liquor layer is the only thing that will save you at this point.  Yeah, this is going out in the winter.  It’s college, and no one is going to sacrifice their Saturday night just because it’s a little chilly, so you toss on your pregame playlist and you pray that it’s not as cold as you remember it being earlier that afternoon.  These are the stages of going out in the winter. 

1. You get back from dinner (dethawing from the frigid walk back to your dorm) and start to get your life together.  You put your makeup on: 



2. Then you go to your closet or “Going Out” drawer (we all have one) and decide if you should try to wear long sleeves in an effort to stay warmer. 

Yeah, you still chose a tank top becasue fashion is not function.  


3. You get that pregame started — your liquor is the only thing that will save you now.

4. The team is getting ready to leave, and you’ve got to start bracing yourself for the cold.

5. The walk begins, you’re not loving it, and you’re pretty sure it’s starting to sober you up… where’s the shuttle??

If you’re one of those lucky souls who live on Vernon, then the walk isn’t as painful for the rest of the campus, but hey, cold is cold.    


6. You get to your desired frat and dear lord there’s a line.  

7.  You huddle for warmth and pray the guy working the door has mercy on your soul.

8.  You finally get in and you can’t even dance you’re still so cold but you still try to get your drank on.

9.  You have a great night but your friends are ready to head to a different frat, so you gotta find where you shoved your fracket and make moves.

10.  So you’re at the next frat, post-frigid air, and it’s getting time to go home.  You go to Goldbergs and wait for the shuttle.  

11.  You make it back to your dorm and you crawl under the covers and dream of warm air.

Goodnight, Princess.


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