Bumble is a dating app created by one of Tinder’s co-founders, Whitney Wolfe. It was released in December 2014 and strives to be a “respectful dating app”, It features the same swiping system as Tinder. The key difference between the two programs is that when a connection is made on Bumble, the girl has to send the first message. She must do so within twenty-four hours or the match will expire. This is supposed to eliminate the stigma of women sending the first message. The premise caught my attention, so I decided to try out the app.
The biggest thing I realized while using Bumble is that sending the first message is ridiculously difficult, and that I am just plain horrible at it. It’s not like I’ve never sent the first text, it’s just that I only send it when I actually have something to say. Being expected to have something interesting to say to every single match was a lot of pressure, and I did not handle it well. I came up with some brilliantly catastrophic conversation starters.
Pro-tip: Questioning someone’s existence isn’t the best way to start a conversation.
I sent this message to way more guys than just poor Mark.
Even though I wasn’t always the best at sending the first message, being forced to do so did give me more confidence to say things like…
and…
and this one too:
After using Bumble for a few weeks, I went back on Tinder to see what would happen. Had being forced to send the first message actually helped me become more comfortable with doing so? I think it did. I didn’t hesitate as much as I would have a month ago when I thought about messaging the guy first. So, even though I may not be great at it, I am certainly more okay with initiating the conversation. I don’t think I will ditch Tinder and use Bumble exclusively from now on, but I also don’t see myself leaving Bumble behind, either.