Photo by Kaylee Davis
My Hypocritical Journey Into Sisterhood
I hated the idea of sororities. If asked a year or two ago what my opinion was about sororities, I would have replied with something along the lines of, “Sorry, I don’t want to be like everyone else,” or, “No thanks, I don’t need to buy my friends.” I hated the idea of sororities; thinking the typical negative opinion everyone who isn’t in a sorority has probably thought once or twice in their lives.
This hatred grew out of two simple facts: I had never been girly, or been one to enjoy hanging out with prissy, popular girls. Growing up, I built my life around hating the pretty girls and mastering all of the sports I possibly could. I was the girl in the back of homeroom reading a book quietly, the girl standing alone at assemblies in high school surrounded by “friends” who had no idea how alone I was actually feeling. I never really had a lot of close friends. Excluding a special few best friends, I created friendships in high school solely based on the fact that I saw these people five days a week; not because we had anything in common other than not doing well on last night’s homework assignment. I was, essentially, a lone wolf in the wilds of the high school halls.
Fast forward to my life now: a freshman in college, just looking for a place to fit in, tired of being on my own. “They” always said that college is where you find out who you are and who your real friends are, “they” being the adults who I never believed had actually been teenagers at some point in their lives. Landing on Towson’s campus, I knew a select few people and built a friend group on that fact. After finding my group, I desperately latched onto them, thinking, “They’re all that I need. Everyone else on this campus sucks.” But thinking this put me back in my old, cynical ways. I had to force myself to find a social outlet other than the same 5 or 6 people I saw everyday at dinner. Seeing that everyone else had already found their groups, the task of finding new friends seemed daunting and unrealistic until I found my sisters and home in Delta Phi Epsilon. Being that D Phi E is a new sorority, there were no set standards of who the perfect ‘Deepher’ (our nickname that I despise so very much) was. All of these girls looking for a new home, just like I was, came in optimistically and with them, I’ve created a new community that I call my home away from home.
Yes, I have to pay colony fees and philanthropic fees and a ton of other costs that my wallet cannot even handle in the slightest. Yes, we all are required to dress up for certain events and represent our sorority’s name with beauty and grace. And yes, I hate the woo-ing and smiling and peppiness of Greek events. Those girly things will forever make my inner tomboy cringe. But I can tell you that at colony meetings, I do not look like the girls sitting next to me. The women surrounding me are supportive and unique, making it possible to make a new friend every single time I sit in a random spot and introduce myself to the girl sitting in the chair next to mine.
I always hated the idea of sororities and having to fit in just to feel accepted, but isn’t that the way things are in all parts of life? It’s the way the world around us is. We put on a mask, hoping to be accepted. But in a sorority, women have the opportunity to take those masks off and just be themselves. I joined a sorority not to try to fit in, but to find a way of making college life easier and more enjoyable. Sure, I have to make some compromises, like wearing Lilly Pulitzer patterned Delta Phi Epsilon letters on my shirt because it was the design my sisters voted for, but I’m so proud wearing those ugly, bright patterned letters. I hate the design of the fabric, but I love what it symbolizes. I love being a part of a community of girls who know exactly what I’m going through, and offer a shoulder to cry on, and a hand to hold. They support me when I’m feeling my worst, and praise me when I’m doing my best. I have a new family of sisters all around campus and the globe, every single one different and beautiful. I used to hate the idea of sororities, but in practice, being a sister is what I love most in my life right now.
To learn more about Greek Life at Towson University and how to get involved, go to: http://www.towson.edu/studentlife/activities/fratsororitylife/