Millennials + Dating; this seems like a very divergent pair. But why? As college women, we have heard about the topic of dating from concerned parents, teasing professors, and even grandparents. They worry about us not dating, but at the same time are concerned if we are seeing the right people, or what ever else we are doing with them. The comments made by our elders are not totally unwarranted however; in all reality, when did regular dating or courtship of the past become ‘hooking up’? Why is there one extreme of hooking up, and another extreme of being in a “serious relationship” for years on end? And, why can’t Milennials just have a happy medium?
Those born in the late 1990s and onwards at this point in 2017 are almost twenty; this is the age of adventure, cramming, and of course relationships, sexual or not. With much thanks to Apps, like Tinder, that have come out more recently, young people on college campuses are hooking up and exploring with individuals that they would maybe never encountered otherwise. Now, I am not here to judge, but I am wondering if people really enjoy using these methods or if they just cannot find another alternative to easily meet people and fulfill needs. Sure, in the beginning hooking up is probably fun or exciting, but after a while I imagine, people must feel empty to some extent.
Divorce is rampant in today’s society, and there is a high chance that as we as young people have watched our parents’ or our friends’ parents’ marriages fail. Is it likely that we do not want to go through that same pain, getting really involved and then having our hopes, dreams, and love shatter to pieces? On the other hand, we have to realize that we are not our parents, and just because breakups occur and hearts are broken, that does not mean we have to resort to anti-relationship attitudes or pledges.
On the other side of the spectrum, we have those happy few couples who have, for example, met in high school or in some college class or club, and have been together as long as anyone can remember. They are those couples who are content and joyous to have a date on a Saturday night, or to have someone to brag about to their friends. Often times with showy or overtly happy couples, people walking by or observing seem jealous and offended at obvious public affection; they snicker to their friends and roll their eyes, or think to themselves quietly. Why does this seem to be the natural response? Is it because we envy those who are happy and have security in the “scary dating scene,” or do we really think that romantic relationships are doomed to fail and pity the poor fools?
And then finally there are those, quite a few actually that I have known personally, who have never even dated, had a boyfriend or girlfriend, or rarely do more than kiss a stranger at a party. Hey you—reader who can relate with this category; GOOD FOR YOU. I know it may seem rough and that you have no place in ‘hookup culture’ and cannot be taken seriously because you are not still dating your high school prom date. But to be honest, in college, strong relationships are really hard to maintain and take immense effort. “Hooking up” as mentioned before may be fun and thrilling; yet, it can become lonely, and dangerous if the right protection is not used, and if certain actions are done with, well, creeps.
In a society that values love so much in movies, books, and music, but advocates for short, sporadic flings, we college girls need to stick together. We need to surround ourselves with people who will not judge or intimidate us, and lean on our friends who understand how truly hard it is out there. In time, what will happen with potential partners will happen, but we have to remember to guard our hearts.
Good Luck with however your love life is going, and if it is non-existent at the moment, more power to ya!