How to Be Single: Cuffing Season Edition

By Adi Arbell

I’ll be the first to say, I’m tired of seeing my friends post pictures and stories of their significant others. I miss the days when my girls and I went out and picked up a new boo for the night or when we did two-mans. Now I have to listen to them talk about their anniversaries and romantic dates, while I swipe on Hinge and pretend to care about these random people’s favorite color. As the air gets colder and the nights get longer, cuffing season is naturally approaching.

Is it time to speed date and look for the one, or settle for the bare minimum? Though it may feel like it, these aren’t the only two options. This cuffing season, we are practicing what I like to call “Mindful Singleness.” (I think that’s a word). College is all about finding yourself and your people. If you’re lucky, you might find yourself in a relationship, but for many of us, a relationship is not the main goal. We are going to dive into the 5 steps to being single during cuffing season and how to enjoy it without the societal pressure of getting into a relationship. 

Step 1: Find a hobby that can only be done alone

If you have enough free time to scroll on Bumble, you have time to pick up a hobby. By finding a hobby you can only do alone, like writing, crafting, or exercising, you are essentially going on dates with yourself. This teaches us that we can enjoy doing things on our own and that we don’t need to equate our happiness with other people. 

Step 2: Schedule time to hang with your friends without their s/o

Once your friends are settled in their relationships, they will want to bring their s/o everywhere, especially to the hang. Though you might like your friends’ s/o, that doesn’t mean you want to hang out with them every time you see your friends. Letting your girls know that you want to spend time with them without their s/o is an easy introduction to setting boundaries and creating a space for open communication with your friends. 

Step 3: Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side

One big misconception of relationships is that they fix everything, singles assume that people in relationships have it all. What if I told you that cuffed people think the same of us singles. A good amount of my friends are in long-term relationships, some going on 2-4 years. Many of them miss the days when they didn’t have to report to anyone or worry about how their daily actions are going to affect their s/o. The freedom that comes from being single and enjoying it is something that not many people can relate to. Relish in it. 

Step 4: Do it annoyed

No one said that you have to like being single. When you are annoyed or sad and you still push through and show up for yourself, you are hardwiring your brain to be okay with the difficulties that come from being single or alone. Doing things despite how you feel or what society expects of you allows you to gain trust in yourself and develop a strong foundation for who you are, outside of your relationships with others. 

Step 5: Don’t worry, you won’t be single forever

One day you will find yourself in a relationship, whether that’s in a few months or ten years. There has never been a better time to practice and learn everything you need to know about dating. College is the time to discover yourself, try on different relationships, summer flings, friends with benefits, situationships, etc. Enjoy the time you have to yourself to just focus on school, friends, and hobbies, pretty soon you’re going to step into the real world, and the quicker we learn to be single the more confident youll be when the right person comes along. 

After following these steps, you will find that being single is not as hard as it seems. 

But be careful, you might find yourself falling in love this winter with the hottest of them all, yourself.