If you have been online longer than five minutes, I am positive that you have seen some kind of debate about the word “feminism” whether it be the people who are super serious about it and talk about it every day, the people who just learned about it and are hell-bent on calling people bad feminists if they do not do what they feel is proper, and the people who have allowed bad combinations of the two to be the stereotype of feminism in their mind that they must distance themselves from.
Simply put, according to Merriam-Webster, feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. A common definition you might see online is this:
Both, I feel, are accurate definitions. Note that when you see these definitions, there is nothing there about man-hating, or burning bras (although some feminists did/do do that) or women being superior, which is called misandry. Being passionate about ending misogyny and the hyper-masculine, white male dominated society that we live in is not misandry, nor is demanding that we receive equal pay for equal work something to turn your nose up at that. If you are serious about equality for all sexes, you should educate yourself on the intersections of race, class, and gender so that you are able to see a more well-rounded analysis of how things truly are for women in America.
There are waves of feminism that focus on the pro-sex, body-positive, queer-inclusive intersections of feminism. This is often referred to as third-wave feminsim, and is the brand of feminism that you will likely encounter in 2016. There is also womanism, definited by Dictonary.com as, “Pertaining to a type of feminism that acknowledges the abilities andcontributions of black women,” since often times, black women and other women of color are left out of discussions surrounding race, class, and gender by what are called “white feminists.”
Often times you see the term white feminist assigned to Taylor Swift or Chloe Grace Moretz for their hugely vague comments about feminism and the way that they do not follow through on their feminism when it comes to women of color due to the way they critique them to an extent that some feel is not fair, but honestly, you do not have to be white to be a white feminist. White feminism is simply applied to anyone who is willingly obtuse or not willing to learn about intersectional feminism and embrace the different intersections that fall under the cape of feminism.
I was raised in a household where there was little pressure to adhere to traditional gender norms in the sense that my father cooks, did our hair sometimes (well, you tried, Dad :) ), and was very nurturing — things that are typically assigned to and expected of the mother. My parents always showed a united front and made sure we knew they were a team; a team has to be equal to work. My father was the breadwinner but encouraged my mother to work when she could and wanted to, and both of my grandmothers as well as my aunts on both sides are very ambitious, career-oriented women, so I am used to growing up around strong, independent women.
My mother did not raise us to want to grow up to be someone’s wife and mother (although I am pretty sure my sisters and myself all want that for ourselves), she raised us to be kind, giving, and independently ambitions. My father raised us to be self-aware, perceptive, and how to defend and stand up for ourselves. While both of them would love to see their four daughters married and have children, they want us to focus on establishing our careers and exploring the world first. I acknowledge that this is a privilege and that some women in different cultures and religions do not have that luxury, but I am grateful because it has allowed me to want to use my voice to stand up for those who cannot. I also acknowledge that if a woman wants to grow up to be a wife and mother that is her choice and it is not my place or concern to judge her or tell her she is not a good feminist for it.
If you are a guy and you consider yourself a feminist, that is great! Just remember to check your privilege and not to speak over women and demand to have your stances heard on things that impact women directly. If you are a woman and you consider yourself a feminist, that’s awesome! Just remember to mind the intersections of all women’s existence and focus on your feminism, not telling other women that their brand of feminism is good or bad.
Hopefully one day we can get to a place where everyone can remove the negative connotations associated with the word and movement and truly focus on gaining equality for all women. I cannot wait for the day where the wage gap does not exist (yes, it exists) and where rape culture does not dominate our higher educational institutions and workplaces. Until then, I hope that conversation about these issues continue and that women continue the fight because we are strong and valuable creatures in society that deserve equality.
Thanks for reading!