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Dealing With Your Roomie: The Second Semester Spat

With two and a half weeks left in the semester many of you are dealing with tough roommate drama. Just because the semester is almost over does not mean you have to deal with her inconsideration! Her Campus Feature Writer Emily Greene has all your questions covered!

Whether the two of you are BFFs, or you are counting down the days until you move out; no one can deny she does things irritating things from time to time.  It’s normal for any tensions to arise or grow between you and your roomie as in the spring semester.  This can occur for a number of reasons: You may have held your tongue all last semester about what bothered you, hoping this semester would be better (and in many cases- it isn’t).  Also, things are stressful enough during the middle of any semester, but rooming conditions tend to be tenser in the second semester. This is mostly because you have been enclosed in a room with this girl for quite awhile and you may be close to having enough of it.

Don’t let the tension mount.  I have been in this position before, which is why I am providing you with these three simple rules in dealing with the issue:

 Talk, talk, talk! 

If something is bugging you, or if you suspect something is bugging her, the worst thing you can do is ignore it!  Her bringing boys over every weekend night, messiness, loud music, using your stuff without asking or anything else that bugs you will only get worse if you don’t address it!  Don’t let it boil over to an argument or let it begin to affect your studying, sleeping or peace of mind.

Do it in a calm, friendly manner

Many of you girls are roommates with one of your best friends, and may be afraid that addressing the problem will lead to a friendship split.  This tragedy can be avoided.  Make sure that she isn’t stressed out, busy, or upset when you approach her.  Plan a time to meet that is convenient for both of you.  Grab a booth in Paws, use your study lounge, or stay in your room.  Make sure it is a private and pleasant setting, keep a calm tone and hear her out.  If you approach her like this- she can’t get mad.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes. (But ask to borrow them first!)

Nobody‘s perfect. No, not even you.   You may have done things, unintentionally, that really bother her, and not have a clue about it.  Just as she may not have realized she did something to you.  Try to see things through her eyes when you approach her; and be open to any complaints she may have of her own.  You can’t expect it to go over well with her if you are not willing to be just as open-minded as you expect her to be!

You are entitled to your own comfort zone and an equal peace of mind in your dorm or apartment.  But be respectable and open-minded when confronting the issues.  If something even begins to bother you, do not wait until it gets worse.  If she is a good friend and respectable person, she will understand your position- so don’t be afraid to speak up.  If the conversation can prevent having to jump over her huge pile of dirty clothes, waiting in the study lounge every weekend night because she’s with a guy, or a more peaceful study time, then it is totally worth it.

Want more roommate advice? Read our recent Ask Andi post about roommate’s who aren’t considerate of each other.

Emmie G. is a graduating from the Honors College at Towson University where she is currently pre-law and majoring in English with a concentration in writing. In Fall 2013 she will attend law school.  She is the Vice President of Her Campus Towson as well as the author of the branch's advice column, Ask Andi. Writing is one of Emmie's favorite hobbies and she enjoys writing and editing articles for Her Campus. In 2012, Emmie was the managerial editor of and was published in a poetry anthology produced by her undergraduate class. 
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