ASK ANDI: My Guy Never Pulls Out During Sex, Should I Be Worried?

Dear Andi,

I have been sleeping with this guy for about a month now and something has been bothering me. When we have sex, he never pulls out. I take the birth control pill and he knows this, but for some reason I am still worried! Am I overreacting?

Safety First

Dear Safety First,

If you are not ready to have a baby, then it is good that you are on an oral contraceptive. The birth control pill is a great contraception option that can work well for many women. However, despite the high level of protection the pill offers, there is always an inherent risk of failure. Chances are very slim of the pill failing to protect you, but it’s better to know what the risks are so that you can decide if this is: 1. The best birth control method for you; and 2. If this method needs to be combined with other methods.

A very important part of taking oral contraceptives is to ensure a solid, continuous, and consistent routine. You need to ensure you take your pill the same time every day. A couple hours difference won’t kill you—but the more precise of a dosage schedule, the better. If you frequently find yourself not near your pill pack when it’s time to take it, try bringing the pills along in your purse.

If you prefer being more discrete, have your doctor prescribe you an extra RX of your pill and label the pack with a black magic marker “EXTRA.” Then you can remove a few pills from the EXTRA pack and keep them in a small pill holder in your purse. If you’re out and about when it’s time to take the pill, simply take an extra pill and then replace that extra one with the one from your current pack to avoid double dosing.

Obviously, if you miss a pill you need to take it right when you remember the missed dose. Unlike antibiotics, you do not take the missed dose with the next dose—take it right away. Speaking of which, in the upcoming flu and cold season, chances are you might get sick and may need antibiotics. Many antibiotics can cause an increase of certain enzymes in your liver to break down estrogen, a hormone contained in the pill, faster. So what does these mean for the non-biochem majors? It’s simple: Some antibiotics can decrease the estrogen level in the body and decrease the pill’s effectiveness. This is a risk you want to avoid—so whenever you’re on antibiotics use a backup method of birth control in combination with the pill.

All that science aside, there are plenty of incentives for the health and well-being of you and your partner to make some modifications in your contraceptive habits. Not only can using a condom decrease the risks of birth control failure, but it can help protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and sexually transmitted infections. Pregnancy is not the only risk associated with sex. The pill will protect you at about a 98%-99% level from getting pregnant—but it does nothing at all to prevent STDs. Some STDs can be detrimental to your health, others can be cured. STDs are very common among young adults and can spread quickly through college atmospheres.

There are plenty of birth control methods to consider and I encourage you to explore them more. To give you a head start the basic methods are: the pill, barrier methods (male and female condoms, diaphragms), IUDs (intrauterine devices), the shot (Depo Provera), birth control rings (Nuva Ring), chemical (sponges and spermicides), and of course withdraw (pulling out, coitus interruptus).

However, please remember that out of all these great options, only the male and female condoms are designed to protect you and your partner from the spread of STDs and STIs. Whichever method you chose, or if you keep up your regular routine—the important thing to know is if you are not comfortable with him ejaculating inside of you—for whatever reason—then simply tell him.

The risk of pregnancy is low on the pill, especially if you have a solid routine and use backup when on antibiotics—but if you are not comfortable with him not pulling out, you must take charge of your health and body and let him know that he can’t do that. He will definitely understand when you remind him of the risk involved. Explain to him that there’s no 100% guarantee that you both are protected from a pregnancy. If he’s doing this because he enjoys the sensation, and not out of mere carelessness or mere trust in your pill, then suggest a condom. That way he can still do his thing and you both get the added pregnancy protection and the extra protection from STDs and STIs.

If you need more advice on how to tell him—ask away

Xoxo Andi

Editor's Note: The opinions expressed on Her Campus Towson are published for educational and informational purposes only, and are not intended as a diagnosis, treatment or as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis and treatment. Please consult a physician or other health care professional for your specific health care and/or medical needs or concerns.