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Ask Andi: I Used To Talk/Text My Crush All The Time, Now We Don’t Talk At All!

Dear Andi,

??I met this really great guy at Tigerfest, and I really like him a lot. At first we were texting and calling each other a lot, and he was being super nice, but now he’s acting really weird. Sometimes he’ll just send me a smiley face text message after a long conversation comes to a standstill, and I don’t have a clue what that means or if I’m supposed to respond, so I don’t because I’m afraid I’ll get too annoying. Now we don’t even talk at all! Did I do something wrong? I’m not sure what to do! I want to talk to him, but I’m not sure if he wants to talk to me anymore, or how I can even start a conversation! ??

-Boys are confusing

Dear Boys Are Confusing,

One thing you have right is that boys are confusing- but so are girls. In fact we are probably more confusing.  This sounds like a classic case of too hard to get.

When texting frequently comes to a standstill, it normally is a sign that either you both have nothing to say, or that its time you both hang out in person more.  However, the fact that he sends an emoticon to you, tells me it’s the latter.  Whether he’s nervous, busy, can’t think of anything to say, or think you are past the point of “just texting,” this boy is showing you that he wants to still talk to you.

Girls will be so reluctant to text a guy first, or too often.  My philosophy is: if he gave you his number, or ask for yours and texted you, he wants to talk to you!  You don’t want to annoy him by saying something back; well he doesn’t want to annoy you by repeatedly sending more smileys!

You have shown this guy that either you are annoyed, you are too busy for a relationship with him, or that you are not interested.  Now I know at least one of those isn’t the case since you came to me- so let me fix it.  It is not too late, but you need to be more responsive.  Text him back a smile too, or if you’re feeling bold say; “I’d love to see that in person ;)” (with or without the wink will do).  

If you are still nervous about potentially annoying him look for these sign:
1. He doesn’t text you first, ever  
2. He takes forever to respond with every text in a texting-volley
3. He constantly gives you one-word replies, or replies to questions like, “how are you?” by only answering and not returning the inquiry.

Now there are other reasons he could be doing any combinations of these.  Maybe the roles reversed and he thinks he was too annoying, or perhaps he is busy.  When it comes down to it, you will know.

Look, the worst that can happy is he doesn’t want to text anymore, so he won’t respond. Is that so bad?  It’s his loss.  The best thing that could happen could be a lasting friendship, great hook-ups or love.  You never know if everything you’re looking for is right there smiling at you (through the phone).  So pick up your cell and ask him how he’s been- don’t forget to say you’ve been busy and couldn’t text much.  It’ll be our little secret ;)

xoxo Andi

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