Sometimes it’s a smell—like the scent of your grandparents’ house, or the cologne your first boyfriend wore. Or a song—perhaps a record your dad used to play, or a top 40s song that just wouldn’t leave the radio. Maybe it’s a shirt—scratchy and three sizes too small, but you hold onto it, just because.
They all remind you of a time, hazy and hued with yellows that paint the memories far, far away. And suddenly, time seems to have slipped through your fingers.
Where’d all the time go? And why have I suddenly reached the age where it’s appropriate to ask?
What happened to playing outside, pizza parties, and asking your parents to pick us up, if mine can drop us off? What happened to skipping classes, crappy summer jobs, and making our parents miserable?
When we were kids, all we wanted to be was older. And now that we’re older, all we want is to get it back. Time is suddenly warped—the construct of it is no longer mundane but a little cruel.
Yet in reality, a minute still holds the same number of seconds it did ten years ago, doesn’t it? So why does time suddenly feel fleeting as we age?
After marinating in my nostalgic reflections, I did some research. It revealed that time moves faster once the world stops feeling new—when the wonder of what life has to offer dwindles.
First friend. First love. First heartbreak. First day of school. First job. First car.
With every passing year, it is only natural that the number of firsts we experience lessens and lessens and lessens. There is no new information to be overwhelmed with. No unfamiliar emotion to drown in.
Little by little, we have subconsciously become desensitized to the very world we live in. We’re grown and older — the blissful innocence of our inner child has dimmed, and the wisdom that only comes with age has built its roots.
In our confidence of knowing, we lose the freedom to discover.
Time moves faster because we lose the discernment and desire to slow down. And sure, the days might feel long and the weeks may drag, but I find the years move faster and faster and faster.
2020 was 6 years ago. 2016 was 10. And there are only 4 years left until 2030.
This article is not meant to scare you, but to encourage you to slow down. I miss being a kid, I really do. But perhaps, it is not the childhood we miss, but the magic of seeing the world for the first time.
Psychologists offer ways to resist the cruel inevitability of time’s passage. It’s not an instruction manual to build a time machine, but still, you might find it useful.
The obvious suggestion is to continue introducing new experiences into your lives — because the truth is: yes, we may have experienced a lot, but we won’t, and we will never, experience it all! And that, ultimately, is our saving grace.
There are movies to watch, books to read, places to be, and people to meet. Book a solo trip. Pick up an instrument. Learn chess. Go to an underground concert. Start running or rock climbing (though you might as well announce you’re going through a quarter-life crisis if you take either one on). Download a dating app (or actually, don’t). Do something random and unexpected. Embarrass yourself. Explore unexplored emotions.
The next bit of advice might sound dramatic, but perhaps that is exactly what we need. Mindfulness, they suggest, means noticing the ordinary—the sights, sounds, and feelings of daily life. By doing so, we may calm the mind’s endless hum and strip away the filters that distance us from reality as it truly is.
Of course, trying to avoid the passing of time is like trying to scream at the sun to stop setting. But I find joy in knowing that in our short stint here on earth, we’re all just trying to enjoy it as much as we can.
Sometimes it’s a person—like your oldest friend, or your childhood crush. Or a dish—like your favourite home-cooked meal or some sugary cereal. And sometimes it’s as simple as an old photo, displayed in your old room, with your old stuff, that makes you realize you wish you could go back.
Do with this information what you will. I am no psychologist. All I know is: we are far too young to feel this old. Don’t let it slip through your fingers this time.