Why I Will Always Love Heavy Metal

For other young fans of rock, you probably grew up with a mom or dad blasting Deftones, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Black Sabbath or Metallica. However, my introduction to heavy metal music was different. 

Coming from an immigrant family, I was always told to act a certain way. I was told to aim for the highest marks and strive for the most prestigious professions. The pressure was almost suffocating; I felt as if I was carrying brick upon brick, trying to build a house that I never wanted. 

When I was a teenager, I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope with my struggles. Everywhere I went, I was teased, bullied and told by others that I wasn’t good enough. My classmates kept telling me to act and behave in a certain way. I realized that I couldn’t be myself in an environment where I was expected to conform to everyone else. 

Then one day, I discovered Stigmata, a Russian metalcore band. I wanted music to express my emotions and release the pressure I had bottled up inside. Stigmata allowed me to do just that. 

The songs, screams and growls resonated with my emotions. Sometimes, I couldn’t understand why I was feeling upset, but as soon as I listened to Stigmata, I felt oddly at peace. I felt as if I owned the world, and I was able to step forward despite the struggles I faced. 

As I grew older, I faced more and more challenges. I experienced hardships in my career, and many things didn’t go as planned. At times, I felt forced to take on a different path. I started to feel like I was failing, as if I wouldn’t achieve my goals by a certain age. I seemed like I wasn’t meeting society’s standards.

However, I remember the emotions that heavy metal music allowed me to release and how this genre helped me process them. I listened to a few songs by Stigmata, then Black Sabbath and Orden Ogan. While listening to these songs, I realized that I shouldn’t define myself by societal standards. Instead, I should define myself in terms of what resonates with me. 

In my free time, I started engaging in activities I enjoyed. I started going on trips, discovering myself more, and creating crafts. These activities have helped me tremendously, and while partaking in them, I realized that nothing in life matters more than my own happiness and emotions. 

My academics and career are only parts of my identity, but I am incomplete without my hobbies and talents. I soon realized that after listening to heavy metal, I had stepped onto a path that I had chosen and that I genuinely enjoyed. A path that my heart resonated with. A path that was not chosen for me. 

Heavy metal helped me own my identity proudly. This genre of music shaped my character and matured me throughout the darkest stages of my life. I wouldn’t have dreams or motivation if it weren’t for heavy metal!

• #growing up
• college
• entertainment
• heavy metal
• music