Have you ever admired someone to the point where you unknowingly put them on an imaginary pedestal? I know I have. For example, a couple of years ago, I found myself in this position where I just adored this actor. I had taken an interest in the majority of his works and admired the causes he supported. Heck, I had one of the songs that he performed in a movie on a constant loop back in 2015. And then it happened. Fast forward two years later, he had been accused of sexual misconduct and was proven guilty. I was absolutely shocked and utterly disgusted. Not only disgusted at him, but also at myself. I hated myself for admiring him in the first place. That image I had of him had been shattered.
I’m ashamed to say that wasn’t a standalone incident. In a similar, yet less dramatic fashion, I held my close friend in high regard by thinking he was the smartest, most talented person I knew. He was everything I aspired to be as a student, but needless to say, he too screwed up and shattered my unrealistic expectations of him.
Too often, we unknowingly put people on an imaginary pedestal, and sometimes, that pedestal can come crashing down.
Why It’s Dangerous
- Whether it’s a family member or a celebrity that you admire, by putting them up on a pedestal, you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment and setting them up for failure. Because we have idealized a certain person, we restrict their room to be human. Therefore, the moment they make a mistake, you’re more disappointed and angry than you should be. Something I failed to recognize (and dismissed easily) was the fact that everyone is bound to screw up sometimes; nobody’s perfect!
- The second you place someone on a pedestal, you instill this dangerous notion that you are inferior to them. Believe me, nobody should feel inferior to anybody. When I placed my close friend on this unattainable pedestal, I had feelings of jealousy and resentment as he achieved meteoric levels of success. It was not healthy. When you have this feeling that you are inferior to someone, it is possible to become addicted to comparing yourself to others which is definitely something to avoid.
Ways To Stop Putting People On A Pedestal
- Like I touched on before, everyone makes mistakes. By understanding that everyone—including celebrities—has flaws, imperfections and weaknesses like any other person on the planet, pedestals would cease to exist. Allow those you admire to be human, and don’t be surprised if they mess up at one point.
- This tip pertains to my second example where I got jealous of my close friend because of his success. By focusing on yourself and drowning out the noise, there won’t be any time to feel inferior to others. While comparing myself to my friend did motivate me to try harder, it was not great in the long run.
- Ask yourself: what do you gain from putting someone on a pedestal? More often than not, the answer is nothing. Looking back, I regret those times I placed those I loved on a higher level than me. And in the end, I really got nothing out of doing so.
In conclusion, we can learn to admire others for who they are and still avoid placing them ‘above’ us by understanding that they are also human and prone to screwing up sometimes. And though it might not be the be-all and end-all solution, it’s definitely a start. At the end of the day, we are all imperfect humans and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.