Although ageing is a natural process in everyone’s life, it seems society immensely fears it. In today’s day and age, ageing is met with resistance and some will go to great lengths to try and preserve their youth. Why is this the case? Why not accept it with grace?
Ageism impacts all people, but for women, society constantly makes us feel as if the world can be our oyster — until we reach our late 20s. Why are we told we must make it in life before we hit our mid-20s? Nearing my mid-20s, I have certainly felt the pressure to accomplish everything in life before reaching 25. Society has gone from telling me that I can do anything I want to in life during my teenage years to suddenly retracting that statement during my 20s.
It doesn’t help that our media seems to constantly push teenage rebellion as the prime of our lives. There is hyper-focus on teenage activities that makes us feel as though we peak during those years and excludes the perspectives and experiences of other young adults. Why does society deem us incapable of accomplishing our goals once we cross over that teenage border, and why are these standards only applicable to women?
The reality is that the deadlines that exist for women are sexist and ageist social constructs used to control women. Under the patriarchal standards of society, women are told that we can’t make achievements and access certain spaces once we reach a certain age.
Our value as women is often attached to our ability to procreate, be a mother, or wife, to determine our credibility. Instead of pushing us to pursue self-fulfillment, we are taught that acting as the supporting role in another person’s (usually a man’s) life can be our biggest achievement. When we reject this role, we are often bullied until we conform.
Society also tells us that as we age we lose our beauty. Wrinkles, laugh lines, grey hair, and loose skin are considered unattractive and flaws that we need to fix if we want respect and kindness. Beauty is associated with youth, so once we age, we are no longer deemed valuable — promoting a toxic narrative that discourages girls and women, negatively impacting our self-esteem.
The idea that women can’t succeed past their youth is a complete myth, and many success stories prove this! Take the singer Sia for example. The Australian-born singer-songwriter began her music career in the 1990s but didn’t break through until 2014 when she released her second studio album 1000 Forms of Fear, featuring her hit single “Chandelier.” The album debuted at number one on the U.S. Billboard Top 200 chart, and Sia was in her late 30s when this happened.
Viola Davis is another representation of success in her later years. Davis starred in several films and TV shows before gaining popularity in 2014 when she starred in ABC’s How to Get Away with Murder. Davis was in her 50s when she took home the Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series Emmy award. She was also the first Black woman in history to have earned this award.
A woman’s identity extends far beyond being an extension of someone else. In truth, hard work and dedication bear its fruits and life will always give you opportunities to succeed, regardless of age and gender.
As Sheryl Lee Ralph said in an interview with E! News at the 2022 Emmy Awards, “No matter what, if it is meant for you, it will not miss you. You don’t make it at 10, you can make it at 30. You don’t make it at 30, you can make it at 50. You don’t make it at 50, you can make it at 60 and still give ’em goodness.”