For almost 17 years of my life, I grew up in the vibrant city of Abu Dhabi, which is located in the United Arab Emirates. I continue to call this place my home as it shaped my formative years — the culture, the memories, and the sun. I used to hate the sun and how hot it would get, but I never thought I would miss it so much — what I call the “bright days.”
When it was finally time for university applications, I was ready for change and to explore life somewhere far away from the sun. I vividly remember having my friends apply to places all over the world, and that’s when that feeling of excitement slowly started to fade away. It was at that moment that I came to understand that change was near and what I hated more than the sun was, in fact, change.
I was flooded with different emotions. My friends were leaving, but my family was staying. I couldn’t have everything at once; I had to make the most important decision of my life. Do I stay or do I go? Leaving was everything I had worked for, however, I was contradicting myself. Finally, I was ready to experience all the possibilities that life had to offer.
The new faces, the big changes, and a new chapter far away from the familiarity I felt back in Abu Dhabi. It compelled me to press my mom relentlessly when she finally agreed to let me go, but only partially. Let me explain: my new normal turned into a continuous cycle of packing and unpacking my bags.
My big navy blue suitcase, passport, and childhood teddy bear remained consistent. These three things kept me close to home and reminded me that I would eventually return. At the end of a semester, I’m back home in the comfort of my room, surrounded by the people I love. At the end of every break, I’m back at my home in Canada, and the cycle continues.
Unpacking, packing, and repeating became my routine. Jet lag became my worst nightmare, and airports were places I had always looked forward to. Now, however, airports have turned into the hardest goodbyes and “see you laters.”
My biggest advice for a change like this is to romanticize it and your life. This cycle turned into something I was grateful for as I have two completely separate lives that I live every few months. Toronto offers me a handful of opportunities and experiences, and Abu Dhabi awaits my return with my loved ones.
It seems pretty unstable, but my suitcase adorned with airport stickers symbolizes my current life. It’s a symbol that echoes the moments of homesickness, the anxieties, the fear, and the adaptability. In the process of constantly unpacking and packing my bags, I discovered the art of embracing change and accepting it; that’s where I found my stability. This stability wasn’t rooted in a specific destination but in an evolution of self-discovery. Me and my suitcase (and my teddy bear).
With each passing day, I begin to appreciate the unfamiliarity that comes with life, finding myself in the unknown and feeling assured in knowing that home is a dynamic concept and doesn’t necessarily have to be confined to one place. So, continue packing your suitcase as every new landing reveals more stories to tell, experiences to encounter, and growth.