The world loves femininity, but will never take it seriously.
Beautiful women on billboards, the gentleness of a mother’s hug, the old lady who calls you dear when cashing you out— we all love it! Yet, in a boardroom, a group project, or when we are looking for a quality to blame, femininity is shot down faster than it can be embraced.
In her essay, “Femininity is Not a Weakness,” freelance journalist Maya Kokerov writes, “There exists no binary opposition between physical/intellectual capabilities and ‘girly’ interests.” She continues, “Femininity is cherished, but simultaneously easily dismissed. Like sex, being feminine sells but is rarely taken seriously further than meets the eye.”
I’ve recently caught myself falling into this trap before. From wearing my glasses to seem smarter in job interviews to toning down my makeup in professional settings, I have given in to the idea that femininity was a threat to my career and my ability to be taken seriously. To be respected, I needed to align myself as closely as possible with traditional masculinity.
Whenever I’d put any effort into my appearance in high school, my parents’ famous line would echo in my ear: “School isn’t a fashion show.” Somehow, they believed, that effort in my appearance was a distraction from my education. To be smart, I needed to let go of this “obsession” with my looks and all the “girly” aspects of my personality. And, I believed it!
I’ve always loved traditionally feminine hobbies, and despised myself for it. But then I began to wonder, why was that such a bad thing? I loved being feminine! And that included all the trials that came with it.
As women, I’m sure we have all heard comments like, “I didn’t think you were smart,” “How can you get anything done with those nails?”, “How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?”, or “How can you walk in those heels?”
I love cooking, baking, art, painting, and decorating my room with overpriced trinkets. I love dressing up, getting my lashes done, putting on a full beat, smelling good, wearing jewelry, and picking out my purse for the day. I love overpacking, overthinking, glittery eyeshadow, heels that don’t last the whole night, when people say I look like my mom, wearing all pink, and a fresh set of funny bunny polish on my nails. I love women who love all these things, and I love women who don’t.
I will proudly display all things pink and “girly”, and if that causes someone to think less of my intellect, then that is a reflection of how truly small-minded the world can be. I refuse to feel pressured to suppress the desire to be feminine in order to succeed any longer.
Femininity is to be valued, and embracing our femininity has been shown to positively impact our relationships, life circumstances, and personal growth.
Let’s be real, what would a fully masculine society achieve anyway?