I recently went on vacation, and though I have left the country a handful of times before, this time was very different.
I had previously been to a couple of places around the U.S., close to home, but far enough to experience life a little differently. I have also been to Pakistan, where both my parents are from. But these trips always involved the goal of meeting some sort of extended family. This meant having the luxury of staying with loved ones, receiving home-cooked meals, being driven from location to location, and overall not having to deal with too much of the stress of being an out-of-towner.
This time, however, was a little different. My family and I visited Turkey, a country that I don’t have any personal connection to. For the first time, I experienced a different kind of tourism, where your only goal is to see and experience a new culture. I had the opportunity to explore a place that no one I know calls home.
While it was my first time traveling this way, it came at an especially complicated moment: I was working a co-op placement and taking a class as part of my degree. This meant having to tell my manager on my first day of work that I had a pre-booked vacation coming up. I tried to show maturity and humility in requesting time off, although with the vacation already being fully planned, it did not feel too much like a request, at least on my end.
Ultimately, I had to take eight full business days off from work. I also had to miss one of my lectures, despite having planned to overlap the vacation with reading week. Everything worked out when I returned, but throughout the vacation, I couldn’t shake a lingering worry about the work and school responsibilities I’d left behind.
I decided not to bring my personal or work laptops with me, as I didn’t want to lug around the extra weight. At the same time, I continued to receive emails, Microsoft Teams messages, and D2L notifications on my phone. My escape from reality meant not doing work and feeling guilty about not doing work. Even muting those notifications felt wrong. Although, I did eventually do so for the sake of protecting my peace.
Being in such a different environment than the place I call home made me feel excited to get out of bed every morning. It was new to me to have plans for so many days in a row that didn’t involve going to work or school, completing assignments, or studying for tests.
I walked 17,000 steps some days and would arrive at my Airbnb absolutely exhausted by the end of the day. However, along with my “I’m so tired” thoughts came “My colleagues are probably working right now”, “My classmates are probably in class right now,” and “Do I even deserve to be here?”
The thing about opportunities is that they do not look the same for everyone. I had the privilege of spending money to leave the country for no reason other than to have fun and explore. I often found myself wondering whether my manager frowned on my request to take time off, or how frequently my professors have the chance to do so. There were times when I felt negligent, leaving my life behind for two weeks.
However, I reminded myself, for the sake of my peace of mind, that I am allowed to take a break, and that I did not do so in an irresponsible manner. I made my colleagues aware of my time off well before I left, and we discussed how my responsibilities would be covered. I also ensured my assignments got done, even if that meant uploading documents to D2L at night, while sitting on an Airbnb floor.
Soon, the beautiful mosques, cave cities, and hot air balloons of Istanbul and Cappadocia were able to divert my attention and allow me to really focus on the present moment, rather than the catch-up meetings I’d need to have when I got back home. I got to pray in the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia, where I’d stare at the ceilings in awe between each prayer. I was lucky enough to be in a country where walking down the street was in itself an exciting and eye-opening experience. Petting stray cats was suddenly more important than checking my inbox.
Being in a new country also often means getting a little homesick. I found myself longing to drink a Tim’s iced cappuccino, see my friends, or lie down in my own bed. It can be uncomfortable to be away from familiarity, but of course, that was compensated with the chance to eat great food and see new things.
For the latter part of this two-week trip, my family visited the United Arab Emirates, which, although it is not where anyone in my family is from, is where some of them currently live. Visiting them meant experiencing a little bit of familiarity again. Home-cooked meals and being driven around in a car was a nice change after having to constantly think about transportation and our next meal while in Turkey.
Here, I met my cousins, who came home from work between 6-8 p.m., and their children, who were often in bed before 9 p.m. I was reminded again how lucky I was to take a break from the rush of everyday routine. However, at this point in my trip, the guilt had mostly settled.
I had the opportunity to drive an ATV, try dune bashing, and ride a camel. These experiences made me realize how little I have seen or done compared with all that exists in the world. I also got to explore the Dubai Mall, take in the views of the Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, and ride a hot air balloon that went 300 meters in the air. I saw things greater than I could have ever imagined.
Going on vacation can be really cool, and it was a privilege to be as exhausted as I was when I finally returned home. I found that I had gotten used to not logging in to work every day, nor commuting multiple times a week. It was a bit of a challenge to get back into the swing of things and remember how I got things done every day.
However, coming home meant I had a camera roll full of beautiful sights, memories I can bring up time and again with my family, and a whole, content heart. Dare I say I was happy to be home and finally follow a routine again?