On March 11, Disney+ released a new Pixar film called Turning Red. It is the first Disney Pixar movie to take a realistic approach to coming of age stories. The film revolves around the life of 13-year-old Meilin Lee (voiced by Rosalie Chiang), who struggles with adolescence and trying to maintain her role as a responsible, dutiful daughter. There are many components that amazed me when I first watched the movie. Some scenes even made me look back at my childhood, reminding me of how much I hated keeping up with expectations in a similar mother-daughter relationship, while holding the same Asian upbringing and values.
“Honouring your parents sounds great, but if you take it too far, well, you might forget to honour yourself.”
Meilin Lee, Turning Red.
This quote resonated with me because growing up, I always felt like it was my duty to abide by my parents’ rules, doing whatever they required of me, without talking back or asking questions. Although it is customary to honour your parents, especially when you’re just starting to blossom into adolescence, boundaries and compromises need to be addressed. Similar to Meilin, I barely hung out with my friends. Not that I didn’t want to, but it was either I was too afraid to ask my parents, or I just knew they would not give me the freedom. The first party I ever went to, where I stayed later than 1:00 AM (with my parent’s permission), was in my first year of university. I’m not going to lie, it was hard to keep friendships because I was never able to go out or stay out late.
Another reason why I loved this movie was the openly-positive conversation about periods (i.e., pads, hot packs, medications for cramps). I have never seen a Disney movie address this topic, let alone a Pixar one. The scene reminded me of the time I got my first period, and it was the absolute worst. My mother, like Meilin’s, didn’t understand boundaries, such as when she over-shared Meilin’s fantasy drawings of her and an older teenager, Devon, who worked at Daisy Mart. For me, it was my mom telling my friends I got my first period and “couldn’t” hang out with them because I needed time to get situated with myself. Yes … she used my period as an excuse.
All and all, addressing boundaries with parents has to come sooner or later. It took until my 18th birthday for my parents to finally trust that I was becoming a responsible adult who could handle hardships and obstacles without them. In a way, the movie, similar to my life, revolves around a lesson from both parental and child perspectives. Indeed we must honour our parents, however, when we reach the age where we can no longer depend on mommy and daddy, we must build our own lives. As for parents, sooner or later they must learn to let go.