Maybe I am just getting older, but the holiday season has lost its magic and appeal. Ever since I started college, the holidays turned into a stressful time filled with travel planning, elevated financial responsibility, and questioning my relationship with my hometown and some of the people I have left behind.
I’m from El Paso, Texas — a border city about an 8-hour drive away from Austin, and because I support myself financially, it can be difficult to come up with the money to travel back home and coordinate days off of work. Although it would be nice to get home-cooked meals for two weeks straight, it is just not realistic for someone like me who would have to sacrifice income from a job.
A trip to my hometown can get costly no matter which way I decide to travel. An airplane ticket is usually over $100 each way, and with gas prices so high, you begin to wonder if an 8-hour solo drive through the majority of Texas is even worth it.
But besides finances, there are some social and emotional factors that have caused me to question whether or not I will return for the holidays this year.
When I visit El Paso, I feel like a stranger in my own home. I feel like an adult attempting to play on the children’s playground. These feelings are difficult to navigate, and since very few of my family members have left the city, it can be hard to talk to someone who can relate.
The more I visit home, the less I feel understood by my family. Because I am living a life most of my family members haven’t, I feel that I often get questioned about my choices and the way I live — which can be frustrating at times.
At first, I felt guilty for deciding to not visit my family for the holidays, but after putting more thought into it I realized I am finally doing what every young adult must learn to do for themselves — take care of their needs. Staying in Austin for the holidays benefits me financially, mentally, and emotionally, and I’m learning to embrace that instead of worrying about the reactions I will get from my family members.
I realized I am finally doing what every young adult must learn to do for themselves — take care of their needs.
This decision was difficult, but I am accepting my responsibilities as an adult who has left her small hometown in search of a different perspective. By making decisions like this, I remind myself that I am free to make choices that I feel are best for me, regardless of what others may think.