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Thoughts From Someone Watching a Friend Lose Themselves in a Toxic Relationship

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Texas chapter.

At this time in our lives, we have all been there before. In our older ages, we start looking for someone to settle down with, someone who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. At the same time, we are also watching our close friends do the exact same. I can remember longing for the days that I would get to become a bridesmaid and attend wedding after wedding if it meant I could watch my friends find their happily ever after.

However, it was not until recently that I have begun to loathe the day one of my friends will get to say “I do.” It started slowly, gradually building into the problem I am facing today. My friend has always had this guy on the backburner- a past failed relationship that ended up in ruins about a year ago. The first time they broke up it was not amicable, with him constantly being a burden our entire friend group could not get rid of.

It obviously left me in shock to hear that they recently got back together- yeah I know, did I mention he tried to get her fired from her job the first time they broke up just out of spite? This clearly was not on my 2022 bingo card.

This now means this guy is back in our lives, constantly being brought up in conversations and being forced to listen to how he has “changed” and they just want to start “clean.” If I am being honest, it is a little exhausting pretending like we like this guy. We all want the best for our friends, especially when it comes to someone they are spending the rest of their life with.

This guy has lied, cheated, and strived to ruin her reputation for reasons that are unknown. Love makes people do crazy things, but this clearly is not love. This is something that only those on the outside of the relationship are able to see.

I care for her, I really do, but I cannot help but feel like people in toxic relationships tend to block out the opinions of others. No matter how hard we try to communicate to her that her now loving boyfriend has backstabbed and lied to her in the past, it does not seem to come through. She gets defensive and pretends like nothing ever happened. This is what it is like to deal with someone in a toxic relationship- it feels like I would have better luck communicating with a brick wall.

Friendships are sacred and add great value to someone’s life, but sometimes things get in the way that causes friendships to go through trials and tribulations. I am at a loss trying to figure out what to do, what to say, or what to think. It makes me truly wonder whether or not I want to be standing at the end of the aisle watching her get married to this man, or if I risk ruining our friendship by showing her the cold, upsetting truth about her relationship.

Ameera Ozzie is currently a senior attending the University of Texas at Austin. She is a Public Relations major who enjoys learning about all things social media-related and keeping up with entertainment news. With dreams and aspirations of working with high-fashion companies on their Public Relations teams, Ameera hopes to make an impact on the world no matter what she is doing.