Before I started applying to colleges, I kept telling myself that if I did not attend a four-year university, I was doing it ALL wrong. My family pushed for me to attend a university and told me that since I was the first to ever attend college, my experience needed to be the best.
Uh… hello, pressure!
People who preach about the college experience oftentimes have never HAD a college experience. American life has created this narrative about college that sets it up as a way to find yourself through meeting new people, learning from mistakes (like partying too hard), and learning independence. This all sounds amazing, doesn’t it?
I was born and raised in Austin, Texas, and I had wanted to attend the University of Texas at Austin since I started kindergarten. The idea of being able to walk around campus and hang out with friends whenever I wanted was AMAZING. I longed for the independence of college when I was in high school, and could not WAIT to attend all of the college parties. It wasn’t until I moved out of my grandparents’ house and into my own apartment with my boyfriend and a roommate, that I truly understood that NONE of this was going to happen. Well, some of it can.
If you live off campus and work a part-time (or full-time) job, you understand the absolute STRUGGLE. I’m on campus for school when needed, or I am at home studying or working. Trying to afford food and bills while worrying about having enough study time, and making friends? Out of the question. Attending any parties can be a journey as well, because how are you supposed to know anybody to go with if you don’t live on campus?
The moral of the story is, most college students are having the hardest time of their lives. We’re broke, we’re juggling school and work, and trying to get our lives together at the same time. Just know that no matter what kind of experience you’re having, remember that you ARE getting the college experience, and it is only unique to you. It’s hard, and you’re doing great.
Friends will come in time, and you’re going to get to know people. It’s okay to graduate and have not been the party animal on campus- and it’s okay to know anyone and everyone on campus because of how often you see them. For those who feel lonely and disappointed with their experience — I FEEL you. I know how it is to worry that you aren’t getting the most out of university, and trust me there are so many people on campus who feel the exact same way. You are heard, and you aren’t alone.