With Valentine’s Day coming up, I know I’m not the only girl who is suddenly and painfully aware of her singleness. Face it: We can knock the “Hallmark holiday” all we want, but in the end, every girl wants to find the love of her life who gets her flowers or chocolates on February 14. Well, thanks to the people who brought us Match.com, we may have a way to beat the single blues. There’s a new free iPhone app called “Tinder” which promises to help you “break the ice” with people in your area.
What is Tinder?
According to its website, Tinder “finds out who you like nearby, and connects you with them if you’re also interested.” Let me break it down: You use your Facebook to set up an account, which only has your name, age, general area, a customized status, and up to five pictures including your profile picture. You can choose the radius in which you’d like to search as well as the gender of the people you’re looking for. Tinder then shows you pictures of the people who fulfill your criteria—you can either “like” or “nope” them, and they’ll never know unless you both “like” each other. If you do get a match, you can chat with your match through the app, and if it progresses further, eventually meet.
Pros and Cons
Tinder, as with every form of social media, has its own unique pros and cons. You never have to know if someone you liked doesn’t like you back or vice versa, which is pretty liberating to think that you can flirt without ever being turned down. And I do have to say, it’s an awesome ego boost to go on and find several guys have liked your picture, even if it is entirely superficial.
But it also turns into more of a game than a way of meeting people. In one case, I met a guy who had similar career interests as I do, so I messaged him. Turns out, one of my sorority sisters had been messaging the same guy and was all geared up to meet him! With this app, you can end up talking to really cool people, but you have to beware of finding the creeps or the guys who “like” every girl looking for an easy hook-up.
Julie Spira, author of The Perils of Cyber-dating says that while online dating is no more dangerous “than walking into a bar and meeting a stranger,” it is really important to “do your homework before your heart gets carried away.”
With examples like Manti Te’o and the creation of the verb “to catfish” (meaning: to purposely mislead someone into thinking you’re someone else in the sphere of online dating), it can seem incredibly risky to attempt any kind of online interaction without meeting the person first. But Spira whole-heartedly believes that “online dating does work.” Robert Quigley, a journalism professor here at UT, chimes in saying that in this “share everything” culture, it is “no surprise that [online dating] is a popular way to find a date.”
My Experience
I signed up for Tinder after one of my friends told me about it. While I partially thought the idea was silly and fun, I also kind of hoped I’d meet someone. At first, it seemed creepy: You’re using an app to stalk guys in order to get them to ask you out. Weird? Yes. Out of the question? Nope! I have learned that while some guys message you immediately, other guys will take days to do so, or never will at all- and that’s totally okay!
Tinder is a great way to reaffirm that you are attractive and there is a person out there for everyone. No, I am not looking for my future husband, but I’m not totally ruling it out either. If I ever do meet one of my Tinder-men, I will definitely do it in a public place, and probably bring a friend or two along, just to be safe. Oh, and I’ll Facebook stalk the heck out of him before he even gets there!
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