This day has finally come.
Four years flew by in a moment. I never believed when people told me these few years would fly by. But I am coming to learn that this is where I spent the most beautiful moments.
Coming into UT, I had no idea how my next four years would look like. As I was getting used to the new environment, meeting new people, and getting involved on campus. I never knew there would be a time I would have to let all this go. Moreover, I had an idea it would be this quick.
As my graduation is approaching, I am trying to cherish each moment. I am getting emotional walking on the speedway, thinking how beautiful it is seeing my friends passing from my class. I am walking a little slower to my class observing the trees above me as I see the squirrel cross my path. I hear the tower bell ring, I got so used to. I realized how valuable these few days will be. Only two weeks left, I keep telling myself. I look at the UT tower each time I pass by. Attending my organization meetings and seeing my friends brings me true joy. I am afraid that I won’t have these moments in two weeks. I will miss these moments I am leaving right now.
I find myself attending events on campus and making the most out of my last semester but I am not ready to let all this go. I am afraid to use the word “last”. The last time I will cross speedway to go to my class, the last meeting I will have with my organization, the last time I will go to Cabo Bobs or Pizza Press with my friends. The last time I will go to Cain and Ables. The last after party that I will attend. I just want to hold these moments just a little longer.
I guess I have truly become a Longhorn and maybe a very attached one. I have built such a great community of friends. I have grown a lot and learned a lot and experienced a lot. I love it here and I am not ready to leave just yet.
I will miss attending the random campus events. I will miss bumping into my friends at a party. I will miss going to 6th on Halloweekend. But what I will miss the most is my connection and involvement with UT.
I fear that I will not have these moments again.
How will it be possible that my last football game was done? It is not easy to leave my college life behind and start again. I am not afraid of change but I am afraid to leave this place that once I called my home.
As I listen to my playlist falling asleep, I glance at the window, getting lost in the sky. I could see the tower shining so brightly in the night. I close my eyes trying to reject all my thoughts knowing the reality. My bed, my room where my home was for the past four years, I could not resist to leave. It has become a part of me.
I took graduation pictures where I saw many seniors taking them when I was a freshman. Now it was me who was popping the champagne while others were cheering me up as they pass by.
These last few days are feeling like a warm hug.
I think of where I am and how happy I am to be here. I’m in a place where I feel true to myself and who I am. I am learning to value myself. I feel inspired, motivated, and empowered. I constantly look forward to trying new things and enjoying the novelty of experiences. I feel at peace with myself. I like the environment I’m in and the close connections I’ve built with some of my peers. I appreciate the beauty of my space. I like to be here. But I’m starting to realize that my now won’t last for a long time. As I start to cherish these small pieces of joy, it breaks my heart knowing that I won’t be able to feel this again. I’m afraid to let this go.
To all UT undergraduates, enjoy your time while it lasts. Cherish each moment and live each moment to the fullest because a moment will come when all of this will become memories. So, I hope you learn to live a little in this life of your Longhorn state of mind.
As a senior, I see the freshmen that I once saw myself in. I was once in their shoes. As I am leaving, they are entering UT and college life. They are about to create their own journey.
One day I will come back and it won’t be the same. The room that was once mine will be someone else’s. The bed I used to sleep on won’t be mine. I will pass my building and maybe just smile and think about all my memories I experienced here.
No matter how hard I try, it is inevitable to pause time. So I am trying to live to the fullest. Taking each moment of the minutes and seconds while I am here. Making the most out of my few days because I know these will be glued to my heart. While I am scared and sad to let this go, I am excited for what lies ahead. I built such a beautiful community at UT and while I only have a few days, they are enough. They are enough because I took each day and I lived to the fullest.
So if you are reading this, enjoy your time and hold on to these few minutes of joy. One day we will look back and think how amazing it was and how amazing it will always be.