Best friends forever. You say it because you believe it. You know it with the person you are best friends with. It doesn’t just happen immediately upon becoming best friends, obviously. It takes years and years of foundation. Until you and your best friend have gotten so comfortable with having each other in your lives that going a single day without talking to each other seems impossible. So much happens in a day that your best friend needs to know about, right? From seeing your crush on the way to class to receiving an acceptance letter to the prestigious grad school that you’ve been dying to go to. It doesn’t matter how trivial it may seem; you want to share things with the person who knows you the best. The person that is there for you always and knows how to share in the emotions of every event in your life.
There comes a point in your life where you realize you are taking the closest people to you for granted. And there also comes a point in your life that you realize that the person you are closest to for all those years while growing up is now evolving into just a different person from what you were used to. I had to learn the hard way that people can really grow apart. Different interests and priorities arise which clash with yours and you stand there thinking, “Why isn’t she doing what we used to love to do together? Why is she acting so differently and unlike herself?” It really did take me a while to finally realize that that is like herself. She doesn’t have to stay the same. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It can just mean she’s not going to be able to be in my life in the same way.
However, unfortunately, without realizing this, it led to mistreatment on both of our parts. And after months of not speaking to one another, no one wants to be the one that gives in and begs for the other person to still be there. At least a little part of their life. Why do they have to go away altogether? Is that really the healthiest option for both of us? What if I’m still hurting? What if it randomly crosses my mind even after almost two semesters and leaves my heart hurting for the next few hours? What helped me continue was knowing that I, at least, have tried to make it better. Writing a full-page letter apologizing and expressing my empty heart without her in my life, asking for a chance to meet and talk and make it all alright. Yet no action taken on her part.
After a while of waiting, you eventually lose hope. “They’re never coming back into your life.” You sit there and realize and try to accept that it’s just not going to happen. Whether it’s that it would never be the same or that one person realizes that we are just not good together as best friends, it’s just not. Now, you feel anger overcome you. Anger that eventually subsides and leads into acceptance. You find comfort in your new life. Not waking up and calling your best friend. Not going to the same events if the other person if going. When you’re sobbing over a heartbreak and need that person who knows you the best. They still know you the best even after all of this time apart. Avoiding each other at all costs because nothing has been done and it has been accepted that we are no longer friends. Now I am graduating, and we both don’t even know where the other person is ending up. Did she get a full time in a different state, or is she staying in the hometown that we grew up together with? Does she know about me and my future plans? Will I ever see her again?
Life is very unexpectable in that manner. One day, I had my best friend for life. The next day, she was no longer in my life.