I love October. I can wholeheartedly say what isn’t there to love about a month dedicated to the spookiest and scariest things ever. I love the scary stories I get to tell my nieces and nephews, the crazy costumes, the pumpkin spice everything, and so much more. But ever since I became a college student, October has been the month I dread the most. No, it is not because I am stressing out whether I want my costume to be slutty or funny but because I have to do my FAFSA in October.
As a first-generation college student, FAFSA is one of those tedious things that I must complete every year, and honestly, the process is emotionally and mentally draining. I am blessed to have a place in college, but it is hard to explain to my parents what FAFSA does when they never did such a thing. Most of the time, my older brother and I do the FAFSA together and try not to involve our parents because, despite how much it stresses us out, it makes out parents feel worse. In addition, the questions are overwhelmingly confusing and, for my parents, make them think they are inadequate because of the weirdly worded questions.
It is hard not to involve my parents because of the need for their financial information and such. So now October is not only the worst month for me, but it also is for my parents, who have to drop everything for two hours while we argue about money and fill out a form that ultimately sucks in hopes that maybe I will qualify for something. I usually do not. I get loans upon loans pushing my family and me into debt. It sucks, but in the United States, that is how I get a college education by digging myself into a tunnel of debt so deep it will take decades before I can pay everything back.
Now FAFSA does ruin my October, but once it is submitted, the amount of relief that fills my body is crazy. The tension between my family and me slowly disappears for a second. Then we realize that despite completing the form, we now have to wait and see if I will have money in loans to afford another year of college. So long story short, I am not scared of clowns or demons; I am probably most afraid of FAFSA. However, the scariest month of the year could not be complete without the impending doom of whether you will be financially secure next year, so maybe FAFSA being in October fits its aesthetic. It comes at you like a jump scare.