With college comes the difficult task of navigating a blurry line between toxic relationships and hookup culture. More often than not many of us find ourselves unsure of what we’re looking for in a relationship and sometimes that can land you in sticky situations. One of my own sticky situations came in the form of dating a fraternity member which I’m sure many of you have encountered or even been in a relationship with yourselves. Here is a short list of everything I learned from dating a self-proclaimed frat star.
- Relationships aren’t for everyone
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As someone who never dated in high school I can confidently say that this relationship was not one I was ready for and many freshmen in college aren’t ready for these relationships. It’s very important to experience college and navigate through this new time alone. By doing so you can really learn a lot about yourself. So it’s okay to break things off if you aren’t ready for the relationship you find yourself in.
- Friendships need to stay a priority
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I would highly encourage everyone to make sure that their significant other is well balanced in the types of relationships they have. By this I mean it’s important that both parties involved have outlets of communication outside of the relationship. This can come in the form of friendships or family relationships, but either way make sure that balance is present.
- Look at who surrounds your partner
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You can tell a lot about a person based on their friends and I think this is something very important to consider when dating someone. While I don’t encourage the spreading of rumors or stereotypes it is still important to be cautious and take everything into consideration. If your significant other is in an organization with many rumors and allegations against it then it is still important to protect yourself and evaluate as you go.
- When it ends, it ends
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Trying to stay friends with an ex or arrange a friends with benefits situation is more than likely not going to work. There will be a formal they don’t want to take you to or a date they’ll be offended you went on. All in all it is wise to end it when it ends the first time.
- It’s okay to be the villain
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When a breakup happens most people will tell their friends the version of the breakup that makes them look the best. More than likely the people they tell will get a very villainized visual of you and that is okay. At the end of the day you have your circle of friends and they have theirs. Hold onto your friendships and don’t take it to heart when their friends roll their eyes when you cross paths.
So would I recommend dating a frat star? No, but I also wouldn’t really recommend dating in college, to begin with. This is such a formative time and if you don’t feel ready for a relationship don’t let anyone or anything pressure you into one. There is time for everything and school and friendships should be your top priority.