This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Texas chapter.
Pauline Friedman Phillips, otherwise known by her moniker, ‘Dear Abby,’ counseled newspaper readers of America through the 40′s, 50′s, 60′s until her retirement in 2002. Known for her blunt and often risqué one liners, ‘Dear Abby’ advised Americans through the sexual revolution, the suffrage movement and the legalization of abortion, advocating for each in her own way.
On Wednesday, January 16, Phillips lost the battle to Alzheimer’s disease after struggling for many years. Now, her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, runs the column.
In 1956, Phillips found fame giving no-nonsense advice as a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle under the pseudonym “Abigail Van Buren” or “Abby” for short. I’ve compiled my 10 favorite moments from her career as ‘Dear Abby’ that spanned four decades, making her the greatest advice columnist in our nation’s history. Here are the best zingers from her legacy:
1) Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast — still in the buff. We’re newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there’s really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? — Ed
Dear Ed: It’s O.K. with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she’s frying bacon.
2) Dear Abby: What’s the difference between a wife and a mistress? — Bess
Dear Bess: Night and
3) Dear Abby: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time?— Jake
Dear Jake: Yes, and also hazardous.
4) Dear Abby: I don’t want to appear conceited but I’m forced to admit that guy who has everything. Women are always flocking around me and telling me how good-looking I am and what a marvelous personality I have. I’m beginning to find this pretty annoying and extremely tiring. I just want to live a normal quiet life. How can I dissuade these hopeful females? – C.W.
Dear C.W.: Keep talking.
5) Dear Abby: I know boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is seventy-three and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions? — Annie
Dear Annie: Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.
6) Dear Abby: I’ve been going with this girl for a year. How can I get her to say yes? —Don
Dear Don: What’s the question?
7) Dear Abby: ”Two men who claim to be father and adopted son just bought an old mansion across the street and fixed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and going at all hours — blacks, whites, Orientals, women who look like men and men who look like women. This has always been considered one of the finest sections of San Francisco, and these weirdos are giving it a bad name. How can we improve the neighborhood? — Nob Hill Residents
Dear Residents: You could move.
8) Dear Abby: I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now, how do I get out?
Dear Navy: Simple. Go to your superior officer and say these 2 words: I’m Gay.
9) Dear Abby: What inspires you most to write? —Ted
Dear Ted: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.
10) Dear Abby: My boyfriend is going to be 20 years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like? – Carol
Dear Carol: Nevermind what he’d like, give him a tie.