I’ve never been a believer of love at first sight- it is too cliche. I find it nearly impossible to look at somebody’s physical appearance and think, “This is the person that I want.” In my opinion, love is way too complex, and as somebody who is obsessed with the idea of love, I view love as something that goes way beyond the three simple words: I love you. The moment you catch a slight glimpse of the soul of a person, that is when the phrase “love at first sight” is truly brought to light. It’s the “click.” The moment of recognition. The moment you recognize that this soul is the one you’ve only hoped you would find in somebody. I recognized him as the one my mother would describe as we spoke about the type of lover I needed in my life. Somebody calm enough to calm me down when I was moody. Somebody with an amazing work ethic that matched mine perfectly. Somebody empathetic enough to hear about all of my traumas and still choose to view me as a unique individual rather than just collateral damage from the unfortunate experiences I was dealt. Somebody smart enough to understand me in a way nobody has before. Somebody who can get past the reserved/shy parts of me and get to unlock my silly side and match it instead of saying I’m “weird”… the list goes on. The more we spoke and the more I shared, the more it “clicked” to me that he was everything I’ve not only wanted, but needed. I can now confirm that there is nothing better than being fully understood by somebody, and then being adored despite the complexities and faults within your personality. When arguments arise (even if I am the cause), we argue, then resolve it with a simple conversation and a genuine apology since both him and I know that life without each other is worse than putting aside the pride we may have in the moment. He has heard about my worst of times and has even gone through some of them with me, yet still manages to tell me that I am beautiful- not only physically, but “as a person.” All I’ve wanted from my partner was to be accepted for everything that makes me who I am, the goods and bads. Not only did he accept me, he also reminded me that I am worthy of love even when I closed off the idea of it due to the fear that I was too difficult and needy. I no longer have boundaries when it comes to love. The guards that were in place due to past heartbreaks of all kinds have been removed, all due to the pure soul that lies within his one-of-a-kind heart.
Our love was built and sealed when we lived within a mile radius of each other. Unfortunately, life came faster than we expected and we both went different directions to universities that suited us best. I will admit, it’s tough going from seeing your person and making new memories with him everyday, to now being 250 miles apart. I understand that it could be way worse, but I still hate having to see his life through a screen rather than being by his side. I wish he was here as I make memories at my dream university instead of just filling him in through our nightly phone calls. I wish we could join each other for lunch and dinners throughout the week. I wish I could run to him when the workload of being a college student overwhelms me. Lastly, I wish I didn’t have to wait weeks until the next time I get to just simply feel his embrace and be in his presence. We stay awake on FaceTime imagining multiple situations of us experiencing college at the same university. Even though we know it’ll never happen, it’s worth believing it’s real even if it’s for a split second.
On another note, I am not selfish whatsoever. What kind of a person would I be to quit on the love him and I built due to a necessary change of location? As we go through long distance, both of us are chasing our own dreams and doing what is necessary to help us access our fullest potentials. The majority of our communication now takes place through a screen. At first, I hated the concept of not being able to spend everyday with him like I used to, and although I dread that still, I am starting to view the screen from a different point of view. Even through the screen, I still feel loved, appreciated, and prioritized. He still has me laughing day in and day out, manages to reassure me when needed, and never leaves me wondering where I stand. I used to despise it, but I now thank the screen for solidifying our love much more. We have four very long years of college ahead of us, but being in love with him made me realize that when you truly want something, you will always find a way. I know our story goes beyond these next four years, and the memories will be never ending whether they be digital or physical. All in all, there is nothing I want more than this, and luckily I am positive he feels the same. Our love is true, I know this for a fact, so fighting for this is not an obligation, rather just something I wish to do because I can’t envision my life without him. This screen serves more as a confirmation that even though we may be in different locations, our love goes far beyond the miles separating us. With this in mind, if not even being apart from each other can dim our love, then there is not one single thing that could ever get in the way of who we are as a couple. I am ecstatic to continue writing our story, and one day when we finally spend our lives side by side permanently, we’ll look back and realize our love was tough enough to get us through this… one day.