“Sex” this word means so much more than the 70 seconds of carefully picked out aesthetic footage in a Hollywood movie. Sex is so controversial that all most people are taught about it is: don’t do it for all their lives followed up by do it for reproduction once you get married. Sex is so, so much more than a reproductive activity. Sex is used to explore each other’s bodies, relations, understanding your partner’s needs and pleasures. Sex is one of the most natural things we humans do just like eating, breathing, and sleeping. Why leave sex out of the conversation then? It is about time we remove the taboo sex and openly talk about it. Here are 5 (among many more) things you should know about sex.
- Sex isn’t limited to a penis in vagina
You have probably heard about the recurring theme in pop culture. It is an ongoing joke where the woman barely has a good sexual experience. Unlike her male partner; that is not just a theme limited to TV shows and movies. Most people think sex is just a penis in the vagina, which is absolutely not correct. 50-75% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. We need to stop limiting sex to what we have been shown in media rather than pay attention to what our body needs. The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings (double the amount of a penis), and its only purpose is pleasure.
2. You can change your mind, even if you have already started
Consent should be enthusiastic and clearly informed EVEN after you have already begun. A lot of people, especially women think we owe the men sex especially if we said yes previously, but that is NOT the case. At any point, if you feel uncomfortable: speak up.
3. It is healthy and important to talk about what you and your partner desire in bed
Talking about your likes and dislikes in bed is totally normal. In fact, it is the key to a healthy sex life. There is no need to feel embarrassed. Yes, it can be a bit awkward for you to communicate about your pleasures before you are intimate with them for the first time but it will help you and your partner to enjoy the experience way more.
4. It is ok to not want to have sex
Sex is something you should be wanting to do and not just your partner. Some people don’t feel like having sex at all, some chose to wait until the relationship is more serious, sometimes until marriage. Each and every one of these choices is okay. You shouldn’t have sex until you feel like you are ready to do. Keep in mind that just like your choice is valid and important, so is the choice of someone who is the opposite of you. Don’t ever shame anyone for having sex “too early” or “too late.” If both the partners are enthusiastically giving consent and are exploring their relationship: there is no shame in that. Just like there is no shame in waiting for as long as you need to or to decide to never have sex.
5. Different sexual orientations are normal
You might have heard people say, “lesbian sex isn’t actual sex because there is no penetration.” This is absolutely false. Queer sex is natural and normal. Bi-curiosity and gender experimentation are also very normal feelings to have in any gender, and it is all very natural, and you should openly talk about it.