Whether you’re a incoming freshman scrolling down that Class Of…page on Facebook or a junior scrambling to find someone to sublet a bed in your apartment, finding the perfect roommate can be hard. Like, really hard. In fact, while narrowing down your choices, your life with your new roomie may feel like an episode of that series you finished binging on Netflix last week.
To name just a few:
Samantha, Sex and the City
She may be the reason you don’t pass room check, but she’s down for literally down for whatever, whenever. Especially if down is followed by “-ing drinks”. She is the ultimate wingwoman, sex educator, cheerleader, therapist, ect. She’s always talking inappropriately loud in public places and you get “sexilied” out of your room a lot because of her, but it’s totally fine because she repays you by slapping you into shape when you wine about your latest bad hook-up over brunch. Again.
Jackie, That 70s Show
She’s a huge frat rat and comes home stumbling to wake you up around 3:00a.m. just like clockwork. She’s always posing in your mirror for thirst traps to throw up on her story, but ends up crying when her ex-boyfriend views them and doesn’t slide up. Despite having a solid closet, you’ve never seen her halter tops or flares hung up once because she can “never find anything to wear!” before a night out. She’s always stealing YOUR charger and claiming it’s justified because she’s on 4 percent and you’re on 26 percent. When you complain about this, you find subtweets on her twitter page. The only favorite? Her ex-boyfriend.
Jess Day, New Girl
Literally as soon as you meet her, she ambushes you with a hug too big for strangers and the sound of Taylor Swift blaring through her speakers. Inside her room, along with the sweet sounds of the Red album on repeat, there’s tons of inspirational quotes framed that read things like, “Get it, girl!” but also including practical affirmations like, “…just not without coffee first.” She can be found falling in love with guys who hold the elevator for her, locking herself out by accident routinely, hyping your outfit up before you go out, or downing a bottle of White Girl Rose herself.
Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl
She has a photo album worth of pictures as decoration on her walls of all of her besties since middle school, but you’re pretty sure you overheard her on facetime calling Casey a huge B, like, yesterday. She dropped a sorority, but doesn’t want to talk about it. She has Vineyard Vines laptop stickers on her Mac, is a pretentious vocal major, and self-tans before every function. She wears Tory Burch flip flops and pearl earrings to frats and thinks beer is gross. She’s constantly reminding you she rejected an offer from Brown, keeping in mind that while it’s a great school, “it just wasn’t” for her.
Angela Martin, The Office
She’s a finance major and owns a lot of Banana Republic blazers. She doesn’t like talking about boys because she’s an “intellectual” and keeps a color coded calendar. She wants the lights off by nine o’clock, the temp really frickin’ cold, and you don’t know why this pisses you off – it just does. Half of the time she’s MIA anyway, but when she’s not there? Sticky notes. Sticky notes everywhere. “Please clean up after using the kitchen :)” they read. That damn smiley is so passive aggressive, you think while peeling them off the counter and into the trash.
Phoebe Buffay, Friends
Her instagram feed is exclusively edited with the HujiCam filter and her religion is: “good vibes.” She has a bohemian tapestry above her bed and gets tipsy off a glass of Pinot, but it’s totally okay that she’s a lightweight because she’s just as fun––and equally as bizarre––sober. She knows the best places in town to get vegan dishes, but somehow that translates to dragging you to places which look completely sketch. You tell your friends “she has a huge heart” and carries Kombucha in her purse at all times. Also, cats and ~acoustic music~.
Whoever you pick, or end up with by chance, make the best of your time together. And remember: leases (usually) only last a year.