Rape is never okay. You probably hear it all the time, but it is a truth that can never be said enough. Somebody who forces you to have sex with them, against your will or without your consent, is a rapist. That is another truth that can never be said enough. There is no excuse for rape.
Rape is a crime. Somebody who commits the act of rape is a rapist. Somebody who gets raped is a victim. Just like robbing somebody’s house is a robbery. The person or persons who commit robbery are robbers and whomever they rob is a victim. In short, crime is crime—and should be handled as such.
Rape is a plague in our community. It is an act that is terrible and happens all the time. And I do not think officials are making a big enough deal about it. I started college last fall and four of my friends have become rape victims since the beginning of my first semester. That is four people too many. Only one of them has taken any legal action through their school.
She went to a counselor at her university and told her what happened. The counselor immediately got her a pregnancy test and set her up with the student health center for STD tests. Then the counselor called in her boss and told her what happened. They called the dean. After many meetings, the rapist finally got expelled. The whole process took six months.
My friend’s case gave me hope. It made me believe that all colleges were like this: no toleration for crime. But I was wrong.
It took me until last spring to realize that I was sadly mistaken about how rape cases are handled by colleges. This epiphany came in the form of Tucker Reed’s xoJane article titled, “After Being Failed By My College’s Administration, I Posted My Rapist’s Name and Photo on the Internet.”
Reed (pictured above) was raped by her boyfriend of two weeks on December 3rd, 2010 after they attended a party where they were both drinking. He got pretty drunk so they left the party and were making out in her living room and then they moved into her bedroom. He said he wanted to have sex, but she told him she didn’t, and he did it anyways. She stayed with him for 707 days, according to her Tumblr.
During these 707 days, she got her rapist to confess to his crime. She recorded him on her MacBook and handed the recordings over to the police in November 2012 and then to her university, in December 2012. In California, this recording can be used as evidence, unlike in other states where you need permission to record somebody in order for it to be used as sustainable evidence.
After lack of action taken by her college, Reed got advice from two lawyers who told her that she could post her rapist’s name and photo to the Internet. And she did it. On her Tumblr, you can find three photos of him. The two are pictured together in one photo. In this post, she tells her rape story, she shares part of the recording and most of all she reiterates how there was no excuse for her boyfriend to rape her. There was no reason that he biologically had to. It didn’t matter that they were both drinking—she didn’t want to have sex, she told him, and he didn’t care.
Her rapist is graduating soon and will receive a diploma from the very same institution that claims it will expel people who commit crimes like sexual assault. Yet, Tucker Reed is jumping through hoops to prove her case.
She is not alone. Thousands of rape cases that are brought to the attention of colleges and universities are left unprosecuted, sparingly investigated and open, if they are even reported at all.
According to Crisis Connection Inc., only 10% of rape cases are reported to the authorities. But why?
There are a variety of reasons women and men do not file a report against their rapists—they don’t remember much, there was alcohol involved, they’re not sure if it was rape, their rapist was someone they trusted, their rapist said they loved them, or they were afraid to tell on their rapist.
This is why we need to talk about rape, especially in college. Despite being adults, our schools are still our parental figures and should take action against people who interfere with our education. This point is outlined in the “Dear Colleague” letter, an action of the Obama administration, which states, “The sexual harassment of students, including sexual violence, interferes with students’ right to receive an education free from discrimination and, in the case of sexual violence, is a crime.”
Although his letter is directed towards schools with federal aid, its message should be applied at every college: public, private and in between. Creating a “no tolerance” policy for sexual harassment and violence is a standard every college should uphold. These cases should be properly investigated. The victims should get help. The rapists should not be allowed to receive their education at the institution whose rules they disobeyed. They should face the consequences for their actions. As a student body, we need to hold our schools accountable. We need to check they are doing everything in their power to the bring rapists to justice. How do we do this?
- We start talking about rape. We need to write to our administrations. We need to bring organizations like Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) to our campuses to talk about what rape does to the victim and the community, as well.
- We need to define rape. Many rape victims aren’t sure whether or not they got raped because they don’t know what it is. What is your school’s definition of rape? Is it accurate? What is YOUR definition of rape?
- We need to remind the victims they are not alone. My four friends who were raped this year in college all said they felt isolated from society. Nobody should ever feel that way. We need to create a community of helpers. Everybody needs somebody to lean on. Everybody needs somebody to confide in. People need to help other people sort out their issues. This can be done by creating rape awareness on college campuses through organizations, whether they are national like Walk A Mile In Her Shoes or exclusive to your school. Most of all, we need to support the victims and help them make their case to our schools. We need to show that rape is not acceptable to us and we will not let it be acceptable in our schools.
Her Campus Temple is there for you. We are here if you want to tell your story, we are here if you want support when you file a report with the university and we will stand behind you. Just reach out to us.
I encourage you to read Tucker Reed’s xoJane article and her Tumblr. If you are struggling to speak out against your rapist, know that there are people who want to help you. If you want to advocate against rape, start by talking about it.
Photos from Twitter