Thanksgiving is right around the corner, meaning we’re all on the verge of binge-eating turkey and mashed potatoes — and consequently gaining about 10 pounds.
It’s fine, I’m fine.
But in all honesty, isn’t that extra weight kind of worth it? I mean, we’ve been basically living off of dining hall salads and hamburgers for the last three months, so a home-cooked meal (or five all at once) sounds heavenly.
With so many Thanksgiving options, it’s hard to decide what to eat. In my opinion, eat them all — just to be safe. However, there are specific side dishes that are absolutely essential for you to eat, according to your astrological sign, of course.
Aries: Wild Rice and Squash Pilaf
It’s no secret that Aries are the wildest of the zodiac bunch, so it’s only fitting that their Thanksgiving side dish is a wild rice and squash mix. Squash is basically the universal Thanksgiving fruit, so mix it with some wild rice, and you have a delicious (and healthy) side. We’ll all be putting on some pounds this holiday season, but it won’t be from this dish.
Taurus: Mashed Potatoes
Tauruses should feel lucky to be associated with perhaps the most loved Thanksgiving side dish of all time. Or maybe mashed potatoes should feel lucky to be associated with the most lovable zodiac sign? I’m not really sure. Either way, mashed potatoes are really freaking good. Eat, sleep, and breathe mashed potatoes this holiday season — that is the motto.
Gemini: Butternut Squash
Ngl, I spend most of Gemini season, which is late May to mid-June, attempting to eat healthy to frantically get in shape for the impending summer months. Butternut squash is the perfect side dish for those looking into nutritional value. Like I mentioned before, squash is the ubiquitous Turkey Day fruit, so make it a frequent part of your meal. It’s never too early to start getting in that bikini body. Just kidding – eat everything in sight this Thanksgiving. It’s encouraged.
Cancer: Mac and Cheese
Obviously, mac n cheese is not solely a Thanksgiving food, and we’re blessed enough to eat it on a daily pretty frequent basis. But I’m not talking Panera or Wawa mac n cheese. Not this holiday szn. I’m talking homemade, delicious, cheesy mac n cheese. The Cancer sign falls right over the prime summer months, a.k.a: everyone’s favorite time of year. So it’s only fitting that their Thanksgiving side is everyone’s favorite food.
Leo: Side Salad
A refreshing salad sounds perfect during the Leo months of late July to mid-August. But it also sounds perfect right before a huge meal of turkey and gravy. To prepare yourself for the copious amounts of food you’re going to be consuming, a light side salad right before is essential. Spice up your salad with, I don’t know, maybe some squash. Or whatever else you want. It’s Thanksgiving, for crying out loud.
Virgo: Sweet Potatoes
Thanksgiving seriously is the szn of potatoes — and I’m not mad about it. Potatoes are just sensible during this time of the year, since they are mostly harvested in the fall. You know what else is sensible? Virgos. In fact, they’re known for their vast practicality. Is this a stretch? Probably. But I still hope Virgos (and everyone) enjoy some sweet potatoes on this holiday.
Libra: Cranberry Sauce
It’s not surprising that Libra’s side dish is cranberry sauce, in fact, cranberries are in season during Libra season. Cranberry sauce is notoriously tart and tasty, but is a Thanksgiving must. If you’ve yet to try it, make sure to make it a part of your Turkey Day this year — especially you Libras out there.
Scorpio: Roasted Pumpkin
Alright, we all know that pumpkins are a universal sign of fall, more specifically Halloween time. With pumpkin spice this and that, it’s difficult to associate the fruit with anything but the Scorpio months of October and November. ‘Tis the season for pumpkin, so enjoy it while you can.
Sagittarius: Stuffing
Sagittarius’s are apparently known to be the most adventurous and mysterious of all the signs. So what’s the Thanksgiving equivalent? Obviously stuffing. Unless you’re making the stuffing yourself, do you really know what’s in it? I certainly don’t. But the mystery surrounding stuffing makes it all the more better.
Capricorn: Holiday Brussels Sprouts
Capricorn season is one I think that we all look forward to: it’s the holiday season of Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever else you celebrate. Needless to say, it’s a pretty freaking jolly time. The holiday times are so great that they might make the unfavorable vegetable of brussels sprouts actually pretty good, considering they are holiday brussel sprouts. What does that mean? I don’t know — but I’m here for it.
Aquarius: Sweet Potato Casserole
Aquarius: the season of love — or, I guess, Valentine’s Day. With this V-day season of conversation hearts and chocolate, it’s only fitting that the Aquarius’s Thanksgiving side dish is something as sugary as sweet potato casserole — with marshmallows on top, of course.
Pisces: Roasted salmon w/ orange butter glaze
Who said you couldn’t incorporate seafood into your Thanksgiving meal? It certainly wasn’t me. While salmon might be more of a meal than an actual side, I can assure you that room can be made for both salmon and turkey. Pisces get salmon as their Thanksgiving dish because, obviously, the sign for Pisces is a fish. It just makes sense.
While each sign has it’s own specific Thanksgiving side dish, I strongly encourage you to eat… all of them. I mean come on, it’s Thanksgiving. I might be an Aries, but you better believe that I will be eating much, much more than just rice.