Tips and tricks to live and date happily.
If you, like me, have recently gotten out of a relationship, let me start by saying congrats. No matter how it ended, there are so many lessons to be learned. Not to mention, there is so much of your life to be lived. As the school year kicks into high gear and my social life slowly creeps back into view, I have already experienced so many post-breakup epiphanies that have completely shifted my outlook surrounding myself and my relationships with others.
Here are a few to note:
Confidence Really is Key
Coming from someone who has struggled with insecurity for years, I know waking up in the morning and choosing to love yourself isn’t always the easiest. Confidence, however, really is a mindset. Switching to more positive self-talk can change your outlook on yourself. I know one thing I always struggled with was the thought of “Why don’t they like me? What’s wrong with me?”. I started changing my self-talk to say “Wow, they don’t like me? What’s up with them?”. Maybe it sounds a bit vain or rude, but you don’t deserve to feel like you aren’t good enough. You deserve to love yourself inside and out. Once you start acting like the sexiest person in the room, you truly become it.
Take Note of Red Flags
Maybe you’re telling yourself “Now I know better to avoid xyz…” but still end up falling for red flags on legs. When you’re meeting anybody, keep score of the red flags you notice. Three strikes and they’re out. One red flag I can give an example of is people who make you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re not, especially when you’re first meeting them. There’s a difference between having personal awareness and taking accountability for yourself and dealing with a possessive and manipulative person.
Ride the Rejection Wave
Getting turned down isn’t fun, especially when some people are super rude about it. No matter how you get rejected, whether they politely decline or brush you off entirely, just know you dodged a bullet. There are so many fish in the sea. Ride that rejection wave and dive into the next one.
Don’t Waste Your Energy
If you didn’t know, electric bills can be very expensive. So, why are you wasting so much time and energy on someone who isn’t doing the same? If a tinder match moves onto the Snapchat stage and they are boring you to death with one-word responses, don’t send them a novel. If you find your messages constantly being left on “opened,” show them the same decency. If they aren’t matching your energy, cut the power before you’ve drained yourself.
You’re Allowed to Leave Relationships
Don’t feel bad cutting someone out of your life, no matter how long you’ve known them. You need to do what’s best for you. This applies to any relationship where someone is rude, making you feel uncomfortable, etc. You don’t owe that random Tinder match an explanation as to why you’ve stopped talking to them. You don’t need to bear someone else’s emotions that they are projecting onto you. You are allowed to put yourself first.
Communicate What You’re Looking For
“What are you looking for?” The five-worded question strikes fear into the hearts of all those who come across it. Unfortunately for you, it really is a lifesaver. You won’t have to play a guessing game of whether or not they want more than a casual hookup, and risk getting your feelings hurt. Clarifying what you want out of a relationship and setting boundaries really help you in the long run.
Friends are Gems
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get so caught up in your partner that you neglect spending quality time with friends. Not to mention you may feel quite lonely post-breakup. So, surrounding yourself with people that love and care about you is important.
Everything Works Out in the End
Maybe it’s cliche, but it’s true. Those failed talking stages, the people who never gave you the time of day, and even your own breakup paved the way for so many new and great experiences you will have in your life. Trust me that everything falls into place, even if it’s not what we expected.
I hope you are able to apply these lessons to your life. Here is your reminder that you are strong, capable, and fricking magnetic, baby! Take in that post-breakup glow and go live your life!