What it Means to Be a Witness to an Eating Disorder

Over 30 million people all around the globe suffer from an eating disorder at some point in their life. Being that there are 7 billion people in this world, a huge chunk of those people suffer from some sort of eating disorder. Whether you witness it happening to a friend or family member or not, most likely someone you talk to within a day’s time is hiding something. I went through the struggle of watching multiple friends go through eating disorders. Although I have not personally had an eating disorder, watching the people you love go through the hardest times in their lives is not easy.

I would get pulled out of class constantly to support and try and help my friend. Feeling her squeeze my hand as hard as she can gave me chills every time, but it helped her, and that put a smile on my face. I sat there and watched her shiver while she was wearing tights and a sweatshirt. It’s scary to know that the warmth of my hug wasn’t enough to make the feeling go away, no matter how long I held on. Sometimes we would sit in silence in a room alone and just play with Thinking Putty. There are only so many stupid and punny jokes I could say to make her laugh before I ran out. Laughter is contagious. The second I placed a smile on her face from a joke or from reassuring her everything was going to be okay, I could not help but have a smile from ear to ear.

Sitting watching tears stream down her face while I hugged her will forever be embedded into my brain. Knowing that I would not always be with her 24/7 to help her scared me. The scariest times of my life were when I was not with her knowing what she was going through. But what reassured me was the fact that I could help, even in the slightest bit, I could help. A hug on the way to class, sending her little pictures that made her laugh and smile, spending as much time with her as she needed, until she got tired of my stupid jokes of course. The little things that I could do to help her are what reassured me that everything was going to be okay.

One year later I saw her when coming back to see my high school play after I graduated. I saw her and went up to hug her and she said thank you. She thanked me for what I did to help her and my heart dropped. Suddenly I found myself flashing back to all the memories that we shared while helping her through her disorder. I took a step back and looked at her and she looked so happy. A smile on her face, she looked healthy and she was energetic. I have never felt such glee than I did in that moment.  

As their friend, if they place that trust in you to help them with an eating disorder, you need to stand by them through thick and thin, you need to be there to put a smile on their face with a knock-knock joke if necessary; You need to be there to let them squeeze your hand until you both can’t feel your hands anymore, and most importantly, you need to be there to hug them until your arms fall off. You try and help as much as possible, but what I have learned is that you need to offer as much love and support as you can, and that is what helps the most.  An eating disorder is a life-threatening disease and sitting and watching it affect your loved ones is not an easy sight. If you notice this happening to a loved one, do not stand by, but know your limitations. Perhaps confide in an adult, but make sure you are doing this out of love and worry for your friend. Love is powerful, don’t hide it, you would be surprised at what it can do for a person, and for yourself.  No one should go through this fight alone, share your love if you have a friend going through an eating disorder; you would be surprised at the effect that a simple smile can make.