If you currently live in Philadelphia, then you know that the entire city was basically engulfed in flames after the Philadelphia Eagles won 38-7 against the Minnesota Vikings on Jan. 21.
Maybe not if you actually watched the game. But the hundreds of people screaming “go birds” and honking their horns at 11 p.m. should have cued you in.
After the big win, countless Temple students flooded the streets of Philadelphia and marched all the way down to City Hall to celebrating their beloved team’s victory. From the countless Instagram pictures and Snapchat stories, you definitely knew of this as it was happening — hey, maybe you even were apart of it. And if you weren’t, you definitely had major #FOMO.
Fact of the matter is, the Eagles are going to the Superbowl, and whether you’re a football fan or not, you have to pretend you care. Not worshipping the Eagles is like disrespecting City Hall itself. Honestly, if you do so much as murmur “go Patriots,” you should probably change your name and leave the city country immediately.
So, how do you, a self-proclaimed football fake, feign your Eagles knowledge? Well, it’s really pretty simple. With Super Bowl Sunday looming in the near future, get ready to wear lots of green and scream an uncanny amount — because, #birdgang, baby!
1. Work on your basic football knowledge
You wouldn’t go into an exam without studying your material, would you? OK, maybe you would, but you’d at least know that it’s not going to end well. The same is true with football. Studying up on your football knowledge is essential if you want to yell things like “touchdown” or understand what the “end zone” is. By ensuring that you know all basic football vocabulary, you no longer run the risk of looking like the football fraudulent that you truly are. It may not be finals szn, but you can still break out those flashcards.
2. Learn specifics about the Philadelphia Eagles
Basic football knowledge is obviously an important first step, but, like any ~craft~, we must build on this. The next step is learning all about the beloved Eagles. Carson Wentz? Best quarterback in the history of ever. Nick Foles? He’s basically your best friend. The Eagles current record? 13-3, duh. Continue to practice until you could literally recite this in your sleep — only then are you a true fan.
3. Wear dark green like it’s your job
Yes, I know, wearing all black is the easiest daily outfit decision. But you have a new favorite color now, and it’s Eagles’ green. This Super Bowl Sunday, don’t leave your room unless you’re entirely draped in head-to-toe green. Even better, spend all of your money on attire with the Eagles logo plastered all over it. In this case, the “less is more” rule does not apply.
4. Get excited!!
If you couldn’t already tell, the Eagles are a pretty big deal here in Philly, and the entire city is pretty hyped to see them go to the Super Bowl. Go out with roommates, friends, or even classmates to celebrate this Super Bowl weekend. Dress up in fun, Philadelphia Eagles attire, similar to how you would for a Temple game, and get pumped for the big night.
5. Actually watch the game
I know, #shocking, but the best way to understand football is to actually watch it. Get together with a big group of friends on Feb. 4 and watch the Eagles *hopefully* destroy the Patriots. If the Eagles win, you’ll be so thankful that you got to witness a monumental moment for the city, even if it was from a small flat screen TV in a cramped dorm room.
If the Eagles do manage a victory, Philadelphia is going to quite literally erupt.
And when the city does burst out in celebration, you won’t have to rely on Snapchat to know why. Who knows, maybe after all of this, you’ll become a true football fan. If not, at least you now have a very basic understanding, and in this case, sometimes less is more.