Now as selfish as this statement will sound, it is the honest truth: The COVID-19 pandemic was a blessing in disguise for my mental health.
For those of you who have been following my Instagram stories this semester, you can probably gauge a bit of my personality. I’m an ambivert who loves to make people laugh, and I’ve been like that my entire life.
Right before the start of my senior year of high school, something changed. I had no energy, was extremely emotional, and stopped finding joy in things that I loved. When senior year started, it didn’t get any better. I had to leave school on some days because I randomly burst out in tears for no reason at all.
What gave me the most anxiety about the change was the fact that I had no idea what was wrong. My summer was perfect. I spent a lot of time with my friends and made a lot of money. Nothing was out of the ordinary and it had been as if I changed overnight.
When talking to my parents about it, we decided that the best option was to try therapy. My parents thought that I might have been withholding information from them, which was not true, and that maybe I would be more open to talking to a stranger. My therapist and I discussed everything going on in my life and why I was feeling low.
The same concept kept recurring in my sessions. Change. Change. Change.
Everything would change once graduation hit. I had the same friend group since 6th grade because I went to a K-12 school; I never had to go out of my way to make new friends or try many new experiences.
I had never been away from my family for more than a week. I had a set routine in my life and that was all about to change in the coming year.
My therapist diagnosed me with General Anxiety, and more specifically: Separation Anxiety.
The idea of moving away from Chester County was something I dreamed of my whole life, but when it actually came down to it, all I could think about was everything that could go wrong.
What if I left and everything goes to shit back home? What if something happens to my family or friends? How am I going to make friends in college? How am I supposed to live on my own? I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A DISHWASHER FOR GOD’S SAKE. I was extremely overwhelmed by the reality of leaving home.
In January 2020 my therapist and I came up with a plan to start doing little things alone. I would try shopping and eating lunch by myself. I would do everything to learn to be more independent.
Now as selfish as this statement will sound, it is the honest truth: COVID-19 was a blessing in disguise for my mental health.
Being forced to stay at home allowed me to spend more time with my family, and I did intense research about Temple University so I could learn more about organizations to get involved in to make friends when I got there.
I was extremely excited about what my future held. I would even argue that I fell TOO in love with being by myself, but that was a goal of mine too.
So flash forwards to now. What happened? Within the first three weeks of college, I made some of the best friends in the world.
I call my mom every single day just to check in, and go home some weekends to visit because I’m only an hour away. I got my first apartment with my friends. I even learned how to use a dishwasher! Nothing has gone wrong (knock on wood), and I am at peace with being a full time city girl.
My personality is back. I’m me again! Of course I still have anxiety about a lot of things, but it has gotten so much better. I’m even considering doing a global internship in London next summer which would be the farthest and longest time I’ve been away from my family.
I’m nervous as hell, but it’s an experience I do not want to pass up. Don’t worry though guys, I’ll still be giving you content while I’m living my best life over there.